


My Promise

by MGirl112



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depressing, Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Harming Louis, Suicidal Louis, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-06 12:41:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 21,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8751802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MGirl112/pseuds/MGirl112
Summary: Louis has been struggling with depression for months now. The only thing keeping him going is singing in One Direction, but is that enough? Management is always on his back, stress, and beards are slowly making Louis' life miserable, and Harry can tell. How is he just supposed to watch while his best friend gets worse and worse as time goes by? Will Harry be able to save Louis, or will he be too late?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First multi-chapter story! Let's go!!
> 
> Disclaimer- I exaggerated the fact that Eleanor and Taylor were bitches, I just needed them to be for the sake of the story. Also, all of the real- life events in this story are messed up but they had to be that way for the story to make sense. 
> 
> Oh, and there are a few self harm scenes, as well as an attempted suicide, so if you're triggered easily, this probably isn't the book for you

_**Louis' P.O.V.** _

_I've never pegged myself as much of a writer...but my therapist told me to start writing in a journal to help with my depression, so here goes..._

Louis took a deep breath. It's true. The only writing he ever did was when he wrote songs for One Direction. And even then, he was usually still with others. This was one of the only times he'd ever written by himself, much less in a journal. It made him feel like a 13-year-old girl sometimes.

None the less, he picked up his pencil and kept writing.

_I've been struggling with depression for a while and..._

Louis stopped to think. This was hard. Are there rules for writing in journals? Are there specific guidelines? Well, his therapist told him to be honest so...

Louis picked up his pencil once again.

_...it really sucks._

"Lou! Whatcha doing it there? You've been in there for ages!" Louis turned around to meet a familiar pair of emerald green eyes.

"G'morning to you, too, Hazza," Louis chuckled.

Harry smiled at his nickname, making his dimples carve in to his cheeks. Louis' heart fluttered. He'd always been a sucker for dimples. It was just one of those things that made Harry so adorable.

Along with all the other things. He could list a million.

Louis wasn't exactly sure when he fell in love with Harry. Maybe it was when they had first met in the toilets on the X Factor. Maybe it was when they were made into a band, and had become attached at the hip ever since. Maybe it was the first time he heard his beautiful voice harmonizing with his own. Maybe it was when they decided to move in to the same flat together. Maybe it was when they first got shipped together as "Larry Stylinson" by their amazingly supportive fans. Maybe it was just all of his cute quirks put together that made him the wonderful man that Louis just desperately wanted to be his. Who knows?

"C'mon, Lou! Breakfast is ready! Eat up quick, we've got an interview in an hour!" Harry snapped Louis out of his daze and the two bounced into the kitchen.

Louis looked at the plate of eggs that Harry had made for him and frowned. Granted, it looked amazing, but he just couldn't eat it.

"Sorry, Haz...but I'm not really hungry," Louis lied, making Harry's face fall.

"Louis, you haven't been eating a lot lately...are you okay? Are you sick?"

"No, no. I'm not sick. It's just..."

Louis trailed off _. "Oh, God. Please don't ask any more questions,"_ he thought _._

"Okay...if you say so," Harry just shrugged it off. Louis was relieved. He didn't feel like being interrogated right now.

On the way driving to the interview, Louis sat in the passenger seat, deep in thought.

 _"What if I told him?"_ He thought to himself. _"What if I told him that I was depressed? Maybe he could help! Maybe he could support me! He could even help me get better!"_ Louis smiled internally at the thought of anyone caring enough to help him.

_Why the hell would he support you? You know he'll never love you back. He'll just think you're weird. He'll hate you. You shouldn't tell him. That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, you dumbass._

Louis sighed. His conscience was right. It was stupid. Pushing away the thought, he continued to look out the window, becoming enveloped in his thoughts once again.

********

"So, which of you five are in relationships?" The interviewer asked.

Only Louis and Zayn raised their hands. Harry, and more importantly, Niall and Liam, didn't.

Niall and Liam had been secretly dating for years. It was okay, because not that many people shipped them. Because of that, they were able to keep it on the down low, and be together in secret. Management even said they could come out soon, which was a big surprise, considering how strict Modest! was.

"So, Zayn," the interviewer continued, "you are engaged to Perrie Edwards, correct?"

Zayn smiled. "Yes, that is correct."

The live audience cheered loudly, including the boys and the interviewer, making Zayn grin from ear to ear.

Once the applause died down, the interviewer congratulated Zayn on his engagement, and wished him a happy marriage. He then turned to Louis.

"And you, Lou," Louis hummed in response. "You are still dating Eleanor Calder, yes?"

Louis gritted his teeth, but tried not to show it. "Yes, I am," he stated emotionlessly.

The interviewer smiled, showing off his blindingly white teeth.

"I'm sure you two are very happy together, right?"

Louis sighed internally. Forcing a smile, he replied, "Oh, yeah, yeah. It's all good."

"Good," the interviewer grinned.

Louis chuckled awkwardly.

The interviewer ignored him and turned to Harry. "So, tell us about your new album. What gave you the idea for the title?"

It was at this point that Louis stopped listening. He was too caught up in his own thoughts. Not even a second went by when the interviewer soon thanked them for being there, they shared their goodbyes, and he and Harry were on their way home.

********

_**Group Chat** _

_Nialler: Who's up 4 drinks_   
_Leeyum: meeee_   
_DJ Malik: I'm in_   
_Nialler: how bout u guys_   
_Curly: yesss_   
_Curly: Lou?_   
_You: ehhhhh I'll pass. Srry :(_

Louis looked up from his phone to face a disappointed Harry.

"Why don't you wanna go?" Harry pouted. Louis felt his heart melt a little.

"Ahhh...I'm kinda tired," Louis lied. "Really just not feeling up to it."

Luckily, Harry bought it. "Okay. Get some rest," Harry walked up to the front door. He opened it to meet Liam, Zayn, and Niall.

As they drove away, Harry shouted," Don't do anything dangerous while I'm gone!"

Louis smiled to himself. _"You have no idea..."_

********  
**(Trigger scene!!) Don't try this at home, kids.**

Once they drove out of sight, and Louis was sure that they were long gone, he walked back inside.

He was finally alone.

He made his way to his bathroom. Without even thinking, he pulled out his drawer and rummaged around, trying to find the object he was looking for: a blade.

It was a shiny, silver blade in the shape of a long triangle-But what it looks like doesn't matter.

What matters is that it's sharp. Very sharp.

Perfect for cutting.

He finally found his blade. Gripping it with his eager hand, he brought to to his wrist, then pressed down and dragged it along his skin, making deep, long cut. It hurt, but hey, that's the point, right? So he kept going. 3 slashes were made.

Next, he made 2 even deeper cuts along his stomach, his favorite place to cut.

Louis ended up making 8 cuts on his body in total.

He spoke aloud, "There. You happy?"

_You could have gone deeper._

"Shut up," he argued to that stupid voice in his head.

_You should have kept going until you bled to death._

"SHUT UP!"

After cleaning his cuts, Louis decided to take a shower. He winced as the hot, soapy water ran over his fresh cuts, making them sting slightly.

Standing in front of mirror after his shower, he scowled at what he saw.

_You are disgusting. You're a stupid fucking excuse for a human. A fag that no one will ever love. You don't deserve to live._

Louis started to cry. He shook his head back and forth, wiping the hot tears rolling down his face. He hated everything.

He hated the stupid voice in his head always shooting him down. He hated how fat he was, no matter how much he purged and refused to eat. He hated every single scar on his body, yet he would continue to make them constantly. He hated his weak voice, and the fact that he didn't deserve as many solos as the others. And last but not least, he hated himself. No matter what the situation was, he just hated himself, and the fact that he was still alive.

Louis gulped nervously when that particular thought crosses his mind.

The idea of committing suicide scared Louis. Granted, he may not have wanted to be where he was now, but the idea of leaving it all behind was a bit overwhelming.

 _"Maybe someday..."_ he thought.

Pushing those ideas aside, he got dressed and flopped down on his bed.

_"I wonder how the boys are doing..."_

With that last thought, Louis drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Liam's P.O.V._ **

" WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL!!!"

"Niall! Stop screaming!"

"WHYYYYYYYYY!!?"

Harry, Niall, and Zayn were beyond drunk by this point. Liam had agreed to stay sober so he could drive them home and keep them under control, but it wasn't becoming very easy.

All 3 had had too many shots to count. Harry was dancing around like a maniac, Niall was screaming the lyrics to various songs, and Zayn was screaming and repeatedly yelling "Vas Happenin'" over and over again.

About 3 hours and multiple bottles later, Liam decided to take them home. The fans didn't call him "Daddy Direction" for nothing.

As soon as they settled into the back seat, Zayn passed out. However, Niall and Harry stayed awake, constantly whispering and laughing to themselves. Once in a while, Zayn would wake up, and ask where he was, then just fall back asleep.   
It was starting to drive Liam insane.

Not soon enough, they arrived at the flat that Louis and Harry shared. Liam had to help Harry to the door, considering the curly haired lad could barely stand without swaying like a sailboat.

**_Harry's P.O.V_ **

"Okay, see you later, H. I gotta drop off Zayn."

"M'kay, LiLi," Harry giggled mindlessly. "See you tomorrow," he slurred.

Unsteadily making his way into the flat, Harry stumbled into the hallway. Instead of going into his bedroom to sleep, he somehow ended up at Louis' door.

"Louuuuuuuu," Harry cracked the door open to reveal an adorably sleeping Louis.

Without thinking, he flopped onto the bed, causing Louis to shriek in surprise. He frantically looked around to see what woke him up, until his eyes fell upon Harry's lazy smile.

**_Louis' P.O.V._ **

Louis had been deep sleeping, lost in his dreams. It was quiet, peaceful...And then someone fell on top of him.

He awoke to the face of a tired looking Harry.

"Harry!" Louis said, startled. "What are you doing here? What time is it?"

"Eleventeen...twenty sixxx...th"

Louis' worried expression softened. He smirked, ruffling Harry's curls jokingly.

"Wow, you're really drunk aren't ya, Hazza?" He asked, amused at his unsteady state.

Harry nodded, half asleep. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" He pouted, making Louis smile. Even when drunk, Harry still managed to give Louis butterflies in his stomach.

"Yeah, of course."

So, the two fell asleep in each other's arm, and everything just felt right.

At least until Harry woke up the next morning.

********  
"My god, Harry! How much did you have to drink last night?"

"Ugh...I think-" Harry gagged once again into the toilet, throwing up everything he had to drink last night.

Louis bent down, concerned for his friend. He rubbed Harry's back in circles, waiting for the retching to subside, cringing at the painful sound.

Harry had woken up with a serious hangover. The first thing that he did when he woke up was complain about his pounding head. Soon later, he said stomach hurt and...now they were here.

Once another vomiting spell passed, Harry finally had the chance to catch his breath.

"Louis, it's okay. You don't have to be here," Harry panted. "I know how much you hate vomiting."

Louis just waved it off. "Nonsense. I'm here for you, Haz," he gave Harry a reassuring smile. "I'm not leaving your side."

Harry smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Lou. I think I'm done, anyways." He stood up and flushed everything down the toilet.

"You sure? Nothing left?" Louis asked, still a bit concerned.

Harry flashed him a compassionate smile. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

"I think you should sit down, Haz," Louis put an arm around him. "You must be tired."

"Sounds good."

The two made their way over to the kitchen and turned on the TV. Harry immediately flopped down, all four of his limbs stretched out across the cushions.

Louis chuckled and sat down. "Shove over, will ya?" He threw Harry arms out of the way.

"Fine," Harry rolled his eyes with a smile.

"Do you need anything? Hungry? Granted, I can't cook, so you'd probably have to make it yourself. Or are you thirsty, 'cause I know you just lost a lot of fl-"

"Jeez, Lou," Harry cut him off, grinning. "You're worse than my mum!"

"I'm just concerned, Harry. You're my best friend, it's my _job_ to worry about you. I care about you a lot, you know that," Louis said with a smile. He had never opened up like that before.

Harry's eyes softened. "That's so sweet, Louis," his lips curved into a small grin. "What did I ever do to deserve such a good friend like you?" He cupped Louis' hand in his. "You're one of the nicest people I know."

Louis got butterflies in his stomach. "Harry, that's so nice. I don't know what to say-"

"You don't have to say _anything_ ," Harry smirked. "I think we're both thinking the same thing right now."

Louis' breath hitched for a bit. Harry was totally messing with him. There was no way that-

Harry's laugh interrupted his thoughts. Louis was confused. "What?"

"This is just really cheesy, 's all," Harry said.

"Oh, I-uh," Lou stuttered "Hehe, yeah. It is," Louis scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly.

"Let's just watch the T.V., shall we?" Harry broke the awkward silence.

"Yeah, sure"

They turned their attention to some home recreation show on the Telly. Louis glanced over at Harry. God, he was so beautiful.

 _"Harry Styles,"_ he thought. _"You're going to be the death of me."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short. I'll try to make the next one longer!


	3. Chapter 3

_"I love you. I love you, Harry."_

_"I love you too, Louis. I always have. Will you be my boyfriend?"_

_"Yes. I love you so much."_

_"I love you even more, Boo."_

_The crowd cheered._

_"THAT'S RIGHT, EVERYONE! LARRY STYLINSON IS REAL!" Exclaimed Zayn._

_"I've shipped it since the beginning!" Niall said, proudly._

_Harry and Louis proudly held up their interlocked hands to the audience. The cheers became even louder and happier._

_"GIVE IT UP FOR THE HAPPY COUPLE!!!" Liam cheered._

_Louis and Harry smiled at one another. Finally, they were out._

_The two shared a meaningful and loving kiss with one another. Louis was so happy. He'd been waiting for this for too long, and now it was finally here. Everything was perfect. He never wanted this moment to end._

********

Louis woke up to the rude blaring of his alarm clock. He slammed down the snooze button and laid his head back down.

Tears sprung in his eyes. It was all just a dream.

He had never told Harry he loved him. Harry had never said he loved him back. They never came out. They never shared a kiss. It was all just in his imagination.

It felt so real, too. He could feel the happiness, the joy, the love, and the crowd's cheers were clear as day. Every face accurate down to the last detail...and the kiss. Oh, how much he wished it was true.

More tears made their way down his face. He tried his best to wipe them away, but no. They just kept coming.

_Why are you crying? You're so weak, you piece of shit. This is pathetic._

He only cried harder.

"Louis? Are you up?"

Louis gasped. It was Harry.

He didn't want to let Harry see him. Not like this, so vulnerable and fragile. So, he buried his face in his pillow, attempting to hide his tears.

Though he couldn't see, he heard the soft footsteps of Harry entering the room.

"Louis? Are you awake?"

The mattress dipped down next to Louis. Harry sat down next to him, stroking his neck, and running his fingers through his dark brown hair.

"Lou? Will you look up for me, please?"

Louis hesitated, but complied. His eyes were glossed over, and his cheeks were still tear-stained.

Harry immediately stopped once he saw Louis was crying. He gasped.

"Oh, Boo," he said. Harry graciously wiped the tears from his friend's face with the side of his thumb, carefully. As if a too sudden or frantic movement would scare the poor lad away.

"What happened?" Harry asked, his voice soft and comforting.

"I-I had a dream," Louis said, shakily. He started to cry again. "It was so real..." he muttered.

"Aw, Louis," Harry pulled his friend into a tight embrace, his fingers twirling through Louis' hair. "I'm so sorry. It must have been terrible."

_"Not exactly..."_ Louis thought.

"What was it about?"

Louis froze. He didn't speak. Harry took the hint and said, "Right. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Louis nodded. He didn't want Harry to know that he loved him. Not yet.

********

"LOUIS, baby you're here!" Eleanor jumped up from her seat and brought Louis into a bone-crushing hug. He barely grumbled a hello.

She saw his face and looked concerned. She whispered. "Hey, try to look happier, okay? I only get paid unless it looks real."

Louis scoffed. All she cared about was the money! But was a surprise to Louis? Not really.

"It's hard to fake a smile when you don't mean it at all," he sassed. She seemed taken aback, but then smiled her disgustingly rotten grin.

"Aw, Lou! You're such a kidder!" Her piercing, high-pitched giggles filled his ears.

"Cmon, let's just sit down already and get this over with," he grunted.

"Okay! Anything that'll get me my money! I've had my eyes on this _adorable_ designer bag from Gucci, it's so cute! And it would go absolutely perfect with my-"

At this point, Louis decided to tune her out. Like usual, she went on and on about things she wanted, and things she liked. It was always all about her.

Plus, Gucci isn't even designer.

Finally, the fake date was over. Paparazzi came by, snapped a couple of pics, and that was it. Thank GOD.

"Bye Louis!" She blew his a kiss. "I'm going shopping!! Love ya!"

He rolled his eyes. _"She's so fake."_ He thought.

Paul rode him home. Once he left, Louis headed straight in the direction of the bathroom. He had some...business to take care of.

Once inside, he was stopped dead in his tracks by Harry.

"Lou? Are you okay? You seem to be in a hurry. What's the rush?"

_"Damnit."_

"Nothing, Haz. I just... I'm just really tired. I'm gonna go take a nap." He started speed-walking again. Only to be stopped one more by Harry's voice.

"Wait, Louis!" He called. "I made you a snack, do you want one?"

Louis sighed. He just couldn't catch a break today. "I'm fine Haz. Not hungry."

Harry frowned. "You haven't been eating a lot lately. Are you okay?"

Louis turned around. He didn't mean for it to come out this way, but he said, "Will you stop interrogating me like I'm a criminal? Damnit, Harry, you're not my mother for God's sake! Stop worrying about me so much, I'm not a child! Just leave me alone and stay out of my personal life!"

He didn't even have time to see the hurt expression on Harry's face. Louis just turned around and marched to his room without a word, slamming the door behind him.

Once Louis reached his room, he sat down on his bed. His eyes widened as the reality of his words sank in.

_"Just leave me alone and stay out of my personal life!"_

He had said that. He yelled at Harry! He didn't mean to, it was just his emotions getting the better of him. What had he done?

Louis started to cry. He wasn't even sure he had a good reason anymore. It had become a normal thing for him now, crying without reason, always being on edge.

Just one of the many wonderful perks that come with chronic depression.

He wept into his hands, covering his face. Sobs racked throughout his body, causing him to shake and tremble. His breathing became uneven and only came out in gasps. He was a total wreck.

Harry probably hated him.

**_Harry's P.O.V._ **

"Just leave me alone and stay out of my personal life!"

Harry froze in shock. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He gasped.

After hearing Louis' door slam shut, he walked over to the couch to process these recent events.

Louis had never lashed out like that before. It frightened Harry to see his friend in such a state, especially for such a long time.

Yes, that's right. Harry had noticed how sad Louis had been for the past few months, always isolating himself, rarely smiling anymore, eating less.

He had gotten so thin. The other day, he had walked in (accidentally!!) on Louis changing. He could see his rib cage and prominent hip bones.

Since then, Harry had been trying harder to get Louis to eat more, only to be turned down every time.

He wasn't acting like himself. Especially today.

What was happening to his friend?


	4. Chapter 4

Louis woke up that morning with red, puffy eyes. They stung from crying last night. His cheeks were still dirtied with tears, and his hair was a mess. He had been silently weeping all night long, and barely got a wink of sleep. He was so ready to sleep the day away.

So he did. Louis slept and stayed in his room for hours. Most of the day, though, he had thought about Harry. More specifically, how to apologize to him.

He was in the middle of a deep thought when his phone started to ring. Notification after notification were received as his phone went into overdrive. In a panic, he picked up his phone and saw just about a million texts reminding him where he was supposed to be.

He was supposed to meet the boys and Ben Winston for a livestream! How could he forget!!?

Throwing on some random clothes in a haste, he ran out the door and drove to the location as fast as he could.

He arrived, late and out of breath.

Liam scolded him, "Louis! We're were you! We've been on dead air for almost 2 minutes now! C'mon!"

_God, how can you be so forgetful? Can't you do anything right?_

Anyways, the livestream started, and he got himself situated on the couch, sitting between Liam and Zayn. Louis looked over at Harry. He didn't say anything, just looked away.

 _"Wow, I really messed up,"_ he sighed.

"Hello everybody, we're One Direction," Niall started.

"There was a little problem with Google, that's why it took so long," he explained. Louis sighed in relief. He was glad they didn't say the real reason they were late.

They went on, talking about the new album, FOUR. Ben Winston asked them many questions, but Louis was a bit distracted by his own thoughts.

Which were suddenly disrupted by the sound of someone sneezing. Louis looked over to where it came from, seeing that it was Harry.

_"I hope he's not getting sick."_

But, he heard it again. More of Harry's sneezed and sniffles. And when they went to perform their songs, Night Changes and Steal My Girl, Louis noticed that Harry's voice seemed a bit more strained and rough than usual. During the chorus of SMG, he even skipped a part of his solo, leaving the only harmony to be heard. Louis was worried about his friend.

**_Harry's P.O.V._ **

Yeah, it was true. He was getting sick. When he had woken that morning, he had felt just awful, but he didn't want to confront Louis because he wasn't sure if he was still angry or not. However, thanks to makeup and hair, he looked fine for the camera, but still felt absolutely terrible.

He noticed Louis giving him worried looks, even once whispering, "Get them sneezes out," while Zayn was answering a question.

Harry also noticed how skinny Louis looked. While they performed Night Changes, he took into account how prominent Louis's cheekbones and collarbone were. His temples were quite sunken in, and his t-shirt hung loosely off his body. He looked so thin, it was heartbreaking.

Harry had been planning to confront Louis about this, if it hadn't been for his blocked up head due to his stupid nose that wouldn't let up.

After the livestream ended, he had planned to ride home with Paul. He trudged outside, only to have Louis catch up to him and pat his back.

"Hey Haz, you feeling alright?" Louis asked, worried. "You look miserable."

"Feel it," he sniffled.

"Here, why don't you ride home with me?" He suggested.

"That'd be great, Harry replied, his voice sounding congested and tired.

**_Louis's P.O.V._ **

Louis felt so bad for Harry, he was incredibly sickly and exhausted. He wished Harry had told him about this earlier.

Louis drove the two home, Harry almost immediately falling asleep in the passenger seat. His soft snores could be heard by Louis, who's heart melted.

He gave Harry medicine for his throbbing head and cold, then helped the poor boy to his bed, where Louis swaddled him up in blankets and comforters.

Harry slept for the rest of that day.

********

Louis' hand trembled. His wrists were littered with fresh cuts and bruises. There was blood all over the sink, and he was pretty sure Harry had woken up. This was bad.

He didn't mean to go this far.

You see, after Harry went to sleep, Louis decided to scroll through twitter.

He sat on the couch and opened his laptop, only to be swarmed with hate messages.

**_Louis is such a bad singer compared to the others! He doesn't even deserve to be in the band._ **

**_That dirty, disgusting fag shouldn't even be there. He should be in hell where he belongs. #HateLouis_ **

**_Louis had gained so much weight over the years. Hope you're proud, fatass._ **

**_It's so obvious why he doesn't get any solos. He doesn't deserve as many as the others._ **

**_Can you just die already so the rest of us can be in piece and 1D can finally be good? Thx. ;)_ **

Tears rolled down his cheeks. He silently wept, covering his mouth with his hand.

This was when he ran to the bathroom, grabbed his blade, and just started cutting. He pressed down harder than before, littering his arms and stomach with plenty of scars to last a lifetime. He was numb with pain, emotional and physical.

Now he stood, shaking like a leaf, eyes wide at the mess he's made.

Of course, he'd done this many times before, and knew how to handle the situation. He pressed a damp paper towel to each of his cuts, applying pressure until the bleeding stopped. Then, he wiped up all of the blood all over the sink and tile floor with a soapy washcloth. Last, he pulled his sleeves down, put on a fake smile, and exited the restroom like nothing happened.

Louis looked at a clock. 8:30. He had an hour or two to lay back and relax before he should go to bed. He went back to his room and took out his journal.

Louis wrote about his day. About the livestream, Harry, and the hate. By the end, he had just ended up writing bad things about himself. Of course, this was normal, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt. Because it did, terribly.

By the time he was done writing, his eyes were already pooling with tears. His lip trembled horribly, and his breathing was already becoming uneven.

Louis laid down in bed, soaking the pillow with tears. He winced as his many fresh cuts made contact with the mattress.

Before he fell asleep, he whispered to himself,

"I just want to be okay again."

And with that last thought, he drifted into a restless, dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Louis Tomlinson's mother just died of Leukemia. Please send your love and support to Lou and his family. This is so incredibly tragic, I can't even imagine what he's going through right now. She went too soon. 


	5. Chapter 5

Louis woke up, his eyelashes fluttering open. He was so glad it was a Saturday, and he could finally slack off and be lazy. Because that's what weekends are for.

Not bothering to change, he walked into the kitchen, to find Harry, looking considerably better, leaning on the counter, reading a book.

"G'mornin, Haz," he smiled. Harry looked up from his book and waved. "You're looking much better today!"

"Yeah, feel it, Harry grinned. "I think all I needed was some good rest, I feel much better. Thanks for taking care of me, Lou."

"Don't mention it," Louis said. "It was my pleasure."

**_Harry's P.O.V._ **

Today was the day. He was finally gonna ask Louis what was going on with him the last few months. He hadn't been himself. And Harry was finally going to find out why.

For months, Harry had tried to ignore it. Pretend he didn't suspect anything, but he did. Oh boy, he did. He saw everything. The way Louis winced when he hit his wrist, thighs, or stomach, how he wasn't eating anymore, how skinny he was getting, his disinterest in things he used to enjoy, and finally, his sad and depressive disposition. He noticed all these things, yet he still couldn't connect the dots somehow. Which was why Louis was going to for him.

Harry was nervous. Extremely nervous. You see, Louis wasn't the kind of person that liked to be confronted. He was always the kind of guy who kept things to himself, and didn't like to be the center of attention. Because of this, he didn't like to tell the others when something was wrong.

Which meant Louis wasn't going to be too happy when Harry tried to talk to him, but hey, he was at least gonna try.

"Louis," Harry started.

"Yeah?" Louis asked.

"Can...can I ask you a question?"

"Sure..." Louis replied, a bit skeptical. "Why? What did you wanna ask me, Harry?"

"Well...I was wondering," Harry nervously played with his thumbs. "Um..."

"What is it?" Louis pressed on, still a bit suspicious. "What's your question?"

"It's, um..." Harry sighed. "You know what? Its-Its not important..."

"No, please," Louis insisted. "Ask me."

"I just..." Harry said. "Are you...uh..."

"Am I what?"

"Are you...just, are you...okay?"

Louis was beyond confused. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You've just seemed kind of off lately," Harry continued, already not liking where this conversation was going. "Like, sad and reserved, and you're not eating much anymore..."

"And?" Louis raised an eyebrow, slightly frowning. "What does it matter?"

"I just want to know if you're alright. I care about you, Louis," Harry said.

"I never said you didn't," Louis snapped back.

"I know, I know," Harry said. "You just don't seem like yourself lately..."

"So? People can change," Louis said, warningly.

"Yeah, but not like this," Harry replied. "You seem kind of off is all..."

"And why exactly does this concern _you_?" Louis asked, starting to lose his temper.

"Hey, hey, hey! Woah," Harry defended, noticing Louis' change in attitude. "Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't! I'd just like a bit of incentive to know you're okay!"

"I'm sorry, but it's not your job to hover over me and obsess over whether I'm ' _okay_ ' or not!" Louis raised his voice, irritated. "We've had this conversation before, Harry! I'm fine!"

"No, you're not! You obviously aren't okay if you're acting like _this_!!" Harry argued.

"Acting like what? Upset? Well, Harold, I'm sorry I'm a human being with human emotions! My fault, really," he sneered.

"Why are you so mad at me?"

"Because I don't like being swarmed by questions as if I've done something wrong! You don't have to make a big deal about this, I'm FINE."

"Louis, STOP. I'm just trying to help you!" Harry tried to reason.

"Well, bang up job on that, lad. Cheers!" Louis barked back, sarcastically.

"It's not my fault you've got such a piss-poor attitude all of a sudden!" Harry yelled. "Like, where did all of _this_ come from!!?"

"It's called me being annoyed that you don't trust my word! Now for the millionth time, _LEAVE ME ALONE!_ " Louis screamed.

"What is wrong with you?" Harry cried. "All I did was ask you a question and you lash out at me? Why is this so offensive you you? It was a simple 'YES or NO' question! You didn't have to turn it into something it's not!"

"The only reason I didn't just lelbggjhhave it as "YES or NO' is because I knew you wouldn't let me be after I answered!"

"Well, I'm sorry for being concerned for my friend! I'm just trying to look out for you!"

"I don't need your concern! I can look out for myself!"

"No, you can't! I've tried not to say anything, but I just can't take it anymore. I can tell something is up! I'm not stupid, Lou! Just tell me, Louis! JUST TELL ME!"

"STOP PRESSURING ME INTO TELLING YOU SOMETHING THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Louis exclaimed, now full on screaming.

"MAYBE ITS NOT MY BUSINESS, THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T LOOK OUT FOR YOU! YOUR WELL FARE _IS_ MY BUSINESS!"

"YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY WELL FARE, NO ONE DOES! JUST GET OUT!"

"IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, THIS IS _MY_ HOUSE, TOO. AND, I _DO_ CARE ABOUT YOU! YOU'RE JUST BEING TOO IGNORANT TO NOTICE!"

"You know what? That's it. I am so done here," Louis balled up his fists. "I don't need _this_ , I don't need _you_ , I _can_ , and _will_ deal with this on my own."

"Louis, don't-"

"No. Your offensive arguing has ' _helped_ ' me enough already," Louis said, sarcastically.

He turned to leave, but Harry wasn't going to let him go that easily.

Harry grabbed his wrist tight. "Wait!"

What he wasn't expecting was for Louis to cry out in pain, recoiling his arm away.

There was a moment of silence while Louis cradled his left arm where Harry had touched.

Harry was taken aback. "What was that?" He asked, concerned.

Louis' eyes widened in panic. "W-What was what?"

"You just winced in pain when I touched your arm! What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Louis stuttered. "I...I-I don't know what you're-"

"Yes you do," Harry said, sternly. "Show me."

"No."

"Show me," Harry demanded. He extended his hand out, demanding to see Louis's wrist.

Louis pulled away. "No."

"Yes. Let me see."

"No."

"Yes! Louis! Show me!"

"No!" Louis started crying. "Stop! Please! I'm not gonna show you! I can't!"

Harry was starting to lose his patience. "GODDAMNIT LOU. SHOW ME YOUR ARM! RIGHT NOW!"

"NO! FOR GOD'S SAKE, LEAVE ME ALONE!" Louis cried.

"But Lou-"

"JUST STOP! GO AWAY! I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW!" Louis screamed before running as fast as he could to his room, still cradling his left arm.

Harry's face fell. He sat down, still in a huff, trying to process everything that just happened.

Something was up. And he intended to find out what.

Tonight.


	6. Chapter 6

"Louis?"

"Mmh.."

"Louis??"

"Nnnh."

Louis," Harry shook the shoulder of his sleeping friend. "Louis wake up."

"Mnh," Louis grumbled. He really wasn't a morning person. "What do you want?"

"I hate to wake you up-"

"Yeah, me too," Louis replied, his voice gravely and dry.

"...But I need to ask you a favor," Harry asked, softly.

"What could you possibly need at this time in the morning?" Louis whined. "It's so early.."

"Louis, its 11:45," Harry said.

"Exactly, way too early," Louis said. "Just let me sleeep."

"No, you've already slept half the day away." Harry pulled the covers off of Louis' bed, making his shiver. His eyes were still closed, as he aimlessly tried to reach for the sheets once again.

"I just need you to get something for me from the store is all," Harry asked politely. "Can you do that."

"But I have a date with Felonour," Louis whined. "It's gonna be like 3 hours because they're extending is to get more videos and pics.."

"That's fine, you can pick it up on the way home, okay?" Harry replied. "Simple. Just one thing."

Louis sighed. "Fine. What did you need?"

Harry then reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a list. Louis' eyes widened a bit.

"Harry-I- But...but you said one thing!" Louis stuttered.

Harry placed the list in Louis' palm. "Exactly. One thing. One list. One list of 12 items. Simple." Harry smiled.

Louis half-scoffed-half-chuckled. "You cheeky bastard. Clever little shit, you're  lucky I love you."

"Yeah, I know you do," Harry sighed. "Well, I mean, a-as friends, of course. Friends."

Louis blushed. "Y-Yeah."

Just then, Louis' phone buzzed. He looked down. "Oh shit, it's management. I need to be at Nando's in 10. I gotta go," he grabbed his keys and headed out the door. "Bye!"

"Bye," Harry waved. After Louis left, he headed straight for Louis' room.

However, he stopped at the door. Harry hesitated to go in.

He would never go in his roommate's room without telling them. Much less go through his stuff. Louis would do the same. He felt bad for invading Louis' private property, but...

_"You do want to know what's wrong with Louis, don't you?"_

Harry nodded. This was for the best, and with that thought in his mind, he turned the knob and walked in.

He immediately smiled.

Louis' room definitely reflected him. It was extremely messy, and full of memories. Clothes and books were scattered all over the floor, and many picture frames of Louis with his family and friends hung on the walls and sat on the bookshelf. It even smelled like him. As creepy as that sounds, Harry found it quite comforting.

Harry cautiously walked over to Louis' bed, careful not to knock anything over. Glancing at the bedside table, he gingerly picked up a photo of he and Louis on the X Factor.

They looked so happy. Before they were forced apart my management, before there were beards, before they even had their first album out, and...before Louis changed.

Which reminded Harry why he was here.

He began rummaging through Louis' bedroom, careful not to misplace anything too noticeable. Harry searched everywhere. Under the bed, under his pillow, in the closet, in the drawers, but nothing. He found nothing!

Harry groaned. He placed him head against the side of the bookshelf. _"Something, anything! I need a clue!"_

He repeatedly banged his head angrily on the bookshelf. This was useless. It wasn't like his answer was going to fall out of the-

"OW! Bloody hell," Harry groaned. A sharp pain stung at his head. "What was that?"

He looked down. A book sat on the ground. His eyes widened.

Harry picked up the book and took it with him to the bed. He examined it within his hands.

The cover was leather, a light brown, and it was about a centimeter or so think. An elastic band bound the book together, concealing whatever secrets that may be found within its pages.

Harry opened the journal to its first page. It read: _Property of Louis William Tomlinson_

He immediately shut the book closed. This was wrong. How could he invade his friend's privacy like this?

_"There might some helpful information as to what's up with Lou..."_

Harry hesitantly opened the book to the second page, where Louis' smooth handwriting filled the page.

_Ive never been much of a writer, but my therapist told me it would help with my depression, so here goes.._

Harry stared in disbelief. Depression. That's what was wrong with Louis! How could he not have seen it before?

He continued to read about that first day.

_I've been struggling with depression for a while now and...it really sucks._

_I'm not myself anymore. I mean, granted I am me, but...oh yeah, by the way, I'm Louis... Louis "The Tommo" Tomlinson. Nice to meet you._

Harry chuckled. Louis and his sense of humor.

_Anyways, like I was saying, I'm not myself anymore. I'm so exhausted all the time, and I can't enjoy the things I used to. It sucks because I want to be happy, but I feel like I don't deserve it. And...well, I really don't._

Harry frowned. He didn't think he deserved to be happy? How could he think that?

_I'm such a terrible person. I'm selfish and rude, and stupid. I'm always causing trouble for others around me, just being a burden to everyone. I'm fat and disgusting, and no one really likes me. Much less love me. Heh. Can you even imagine?_

Harry shook his head in disbelief. It wasn't true! Harry loved him, the rest of the boys loved him, his family loved him...

_No one loves me. Not even my own step-mother. She said I was a fag, and I didn't deserve to live. She hit me and shouted terrible insults at me...I guess that was really my wake up call, huh? Someone to finally tell me the truth._

_Because of that, I cut. It started when I was in middle school. I remember every detail of my first time....I had gotten a bad grade on a test, and my step-mum exploded, telling me I was a failure, that I was too stupid to do the simplest of things, that I was extremely lucky that he even kept me around. Which I was. I can't imagine how anyone can stand me. It stung, her words...terribly. You know what also hurt? When she dragged me by my ear and threw me against the wall. Mum broke my nose that day, and gave me a black eye. I was only 13. I just couldn't comprehend the fact that she was abusing me, so I just let it happen. For 5 more years. Anyways, that day, I remember limping upstairs, broken nose, black eye...and it occurred to me. My mum hates my skin so much, why don't I just break it? So, I ripped the blade out of my razor and cut. It was scary, but so, so relieving. It was the physical pain that distracted me from the emotional pain, and that's really all I wanted. Since then, I still cut my arms, legs, and stomach. It feels so bad, but so good. I...I can't explain it._

_However, people found out too easily. They would cry, and sob seeing my body. I don't blame them though. I'm so incredibly fat, who wouldnt be scared? To hide it, I cover my body in tattoos to shield my insecurities...but they're still there, plain as day._

Harry read on, his eyes pooling with tears. How could someone so perfect think so little of themselves? He skimmed the next few entries, watching Louis grow worse and worse, until he ran away from home and...auditioned for the X Factor.

He stopped at a particular page. It was set only a couple of weeks ago.

It read:

_I yelled at Harry today. I can't believe it. What is wrong with me? The one boy that I fancy...and now he hates me. Nice going, Lou._

Harry was shocked. He read the last line over and over again, not quite able to comprehend it.

_The one boy that I fancy..._

Louis fancied him? Really! Harry had had no idea until now...

Harry's mouth hung open in astonishment. He couldn't believe it!

_I didn't mean to yell, it just came out that way. I would never yell at Harry. I love him. And...Not just as a friend. I'm in love with him. Like, IN LOVE with him. The whole shabang. In love, like, borderline obsessed. Have been, ever since we were young. Something about him...I don't know, is just so captivating. His gorgeous deep, green eyes. And his curly hair. So cute...and his lips. God, I've wished to kiss him for so long now. I bet he'd be really good at it, too..._

Harry blushed. Louis really thought of his that way?

_And he's not just a pretty face, he's a wonderful person with a heart of gold and a winning personality. Harry's the most beautiful person inside and out I have ever met. The only problem is...he's straight. I mean...he's never told me, but I can just tell. Men that perfect are straight. It's a fact. Harry could never love me. Sigh._

_Ah, look at me. Fangirling over my crush like a little girl...I'm so pathetic. Well, that's all I've got today. Bye!_

_Louis Tomlinson_

Harry just stared at the journal in awe. Louis was in love with him...wow. Just, wow!

If only Louis he told him earlier. About everything...the depression, the scarred past, his feelings.

Now Harry knew. Everything.

But how could he approach Louis about this? He couldn't say that he knew, because it'd be too obvious that he snooped. And he could just say that he assumed...that's ridiculous. How was he supposed to-

"HARRY?"

Harry looked up, fearfully. There was Louis, standing in the doorway, tears streaming down his cheeks, betrayed.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Louis' P.O.V.** _

Louis dropped off the bags from the store on the kitchen counter, landing roughly. He found it strange that the list of items that Harry had asked him to pick up were completely random objects...but he didn't think much of it.

He had meant to ask Harry about this as soon as he got home, but looking around, Louis saw no one. Doing a full 360 around the kitchen, there was no Harry to be be seen.

"...Harry? You home?" Louis called, quietly. No answer. "Harry!" He called, a bit louder, cupping his hand around his lips for extra volume. And yet again, no answer.

"Strange..." he wondered aloud. "Where could he be?"

Louis heard something in the living room, then. Thinking it was his curly-haired friend, he walked in, only to find the T.V. running, with no one there to watch it. Disappointed, he pressed a single button, and it turned off with a click.

He continued to make his way through the flat, checking bathrooms, closets, even Harry's bedroom, but no. Nothing.

Louis figured Harry must have stepped out for a bit, so he casually made his way to his bedroom to take a short nap until he returned.

He came across the door, but stopped. The lights were on.

_"That's weird,"_ Louis thought. _"I don't remember leaving those on..."_

And then he heard something. Sniffles. It was as if someone was...crying?

Well, Louis was sure that he wasn't crying, and the only other person that he knew had the key to the flat was...

_"No. Oh no,"_ Louis' eyes widened. _"He-He wouldn't! He couldn't! There...there's no way! ...Is there?"_

Louis immediately swung the door open, hoping with all his heart that is wasn't...

"HARRY?" Louis cried. There he was. Harry, his best friend, reading Louis' journal. He felt his heart drop into his stomach.

"Lou, I-" Harry started, shocked.

"How could you do this?" Louis sobbed. "I-I trusted you!"

"Louis please, I only-"

"Harry, why? What made you think it was okay, huh? Why?" Louis cried. "I-I-I ca-can't-can't, I-I-No!" He started to hyperventilate.

Louis couldn't believe it. Harry, his best friend, had invaded his privacy! He read his journal! Now Harry knew everything. Everything. And he couldn't do anything about it.

"Hey, Lou," Harry's placed his hand upon Louis'. "It-Its okay...just-"

"Is this why you sent me out? So you could snoop through my personal belongings?" He continued to sob, smacking Harry's hand away. "How could you do this?"

Louis felt terrible- no. Worse than that. He felt betrayed. Heartbroken. He just couldn't believe what he had just witnessed.

"Louis, please! I can explain-"

"Oh no, you've explained quite enough," Louis replied, coldly. He stood up to leave, but then...

"Louis, wait!" Harry grabbed onto Louis' wrist, pulling him back. He cried out in pain.

"We need to talk about this. Right now," Harry argued.

"Harry! Please, please let go-"

"No way. I'm not letting you go _that_ easily," Harry stated. "I'm not letting you leave this room until you explain what's going on."

"H-Harry, please," Louis pleaded. "I-I can't. Please let me go-"

"Nope. Tell me what's going on," he hardened his grip on Louis' wrist.

Louis shrieked. Both his arm, _and_ his heart were in immense pain.

"S-Stop! Harry! Y-Y-You're  hurting me..." Louis whimpered. Harry, his face now washed over with concern, immediately let go.

Louis recoiled, cradling his wrist. He examined it carefully. Thanks to Harry's tight grip, his fresh cuts had opened up again, and were now bleeding.

Harry gasped at the sight. He looked down at his hand and saw blood. Fresh, crimson blood smeared all over his palm.

"Louis...I,"

"I know, I know," Louis cried. "I'm disgusting. I'm a depressed, pathetic faggot and you're probably just going to leave me forever, even though I don't want you to leave, but if I were you I'd leave me too, and...and I know I have a lot of explaining to do 'cause you're probably just as freaked out as I am...but-"

"Hey, hey, hey..." Harry interrupted Louis' rambling. "We don't have to talk about this right now...not if you really don't want to."

"No, no..." Louis sighed. "I think I've really need to explain myself for a while now...why not now?"

Harry nodded. "Oh...okay, um...well... let's get you fixed up first.

********

Harry nursed Louis' cuts, applying pressure and cleaning them with water.

"Okay..." Harry said, throwing away a paper towel. "I think you'll be okay now."

"Thanks for stitching me up, Hazza," Louis thanked. "Now...now I should probably tell you what's up."

"Okay. Go ahead."

Louis took a deep breath. "Well..."

_**Flashback*** _

_"Mum...mum, I have something to tell you," 13-year-old Louis fumbled with his fingers. "I...I..."_

_Louis was only a boy in junior high. He may not have known much, but he did know one thing for certain. He wasn't straight. And he planned to come out to his step-mother, right now._

_"No more delaying," he thought. "It's time."_

_His step mother, Julia had married his father after his biological mother died. She died of Leukemia when she was only 42. It was a tragic time, his entire family slipping into depression. His father had never been the same since._

_"It's really...um, important. But, but it's-"_

_"Oh, honey..." his step-mother smiled. "What is it? You can tell me anything, sweetie."_

_His step-mother was a sweet, caring soul. Surely she would understand. Right?_

_"O-Okay..."_

_"Tell me," she reassured._

_"Mum," he whispered. "I-I'm gay."_

_His step-mother's face dropped. For a split second, she seemed emotionless._

_Louis stuttered. "Is...is that okay?" He was worried._

_Her shock immediately turned to anger and rage. "NO," she bellowed. "It is most certainly NOT okay! I will absolutely not stand for my own son being a faggot!"_

_Louis winced in fear. "But...but I-"_

_"Don't you dare say anything, young man. You've said enough."_

_She then raised her hand high, and..._

_**SMACK!** _

_Louis cried out in pain. Trembling, he raised his hand to the red hand-mark where his step-mother had slapped him. He gingerly touched the burn with the tips of his fingers._

_"That's right. And you better believe there's more where that came from, you fucking disgrace."_

_Louis weeped. His step-mother-his own parent...had slapped him, called him a faggot, a fucking disgrace._

_"Stop crying, you pathetic piece of shit," she warned, coldly. This time, she grabbed him by his hair and dragged him into the kitchen._

_Louis had never been more frightened in his entire life. "Mum! Mum, please! Please stop-"_

_She threw him on the floor. Too weak to stand, he only lay there, trembling, as his mother beat him, kicking him, yelling at him, breaking his heart. Piece by piece._

_"Don't you dare call me Mum! I am not your mother! You will never be my son!" She screeched._

_He tried calling for help, but no one came. So he had to endure the harsh, terrible beatings of his step-mum's abuse._

_Louis ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. In the distance, he could hear his step-mum screaming at him,_

_"THAT'S RIGHT! AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU REALIZE YOUR MISTAKES!"_

_Louis stopped a few houses away. He whimpered as he sat down, every part of his body a painful, crippled mess. And he stayed there all night, fearing what would happen if he went back._

********

"And ever since that day, I promised myself that I would never fall in love. I couldn't. Because I knew she would just hurt me again," he finished.

Harry sighed. "Well, I promise you that...that no one can hurt you now. She's back in Doncaster."

"Some promises are meant to be broken."

Louis cried. Bringing back such terrible memories was too much for him.

"Oh, Louis," Harry comforted. He had had no idea about Louis' dark past until now.

"Well," he sniffed. "Now you know... everything."

"I...I had no idea," Harry whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"It's...it's...there's something else you don't know, actually..."

"What? Is it about your mum?"

"N-No..."

"Your scars?"

"Hazza-"

"The band?"

"HARRY JUST LISTEN!" Louis exclaimed. Lowering his voice, he whispered "Close your eyes."

Harry was confused. "Why would I-"

"Just do it, please?" Louis interrupted him.

"Okay..." Harry closed his eyes. There was a bit of shuffling around him, and he shivered at the touch of a hand on his shoulder.

"It's just me, Harry. Now, I'm going to do something..." Louis said. "And you must promise not to say anything. Not until I'm done, okay?"

Harry gulped. He nodded.

"Okay," Louis sighed, "Okay."

Harry waited. He sat in anticipation for a second or two...

Before he felt the soft touch of Louis' lips on his.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready! This chapter's important. Pay attention, kids. ;)

  
_**Louis' P.O.V.** _

Louis crashed his lips into Harry's. As soon as their lips touched, fireworks erupted throughout his whole body. He felt his cheeks turn hot, heart beating a million times a minute. He was so incredibly nervous, there's no way it could be put into words.

Harry tensed. His body froze, making Louis' heart throb. He started to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea...

But after a few agonizing seconds, Harry started to kiss back. Their lips mirrored one another, creating perfect movements and dynamics. Louis smiled through the kiss, he ran his hands through Harry's curls, while Harry wrapped one arm around Louis' waist, the other cupping his cheek.

As the kiss became more intimate, neither said a word. All they were focused on was each other. That was all that mattered.

Louis was on fire. Not literally, but...You know what I mean.

The way he kissed was so passionate and meaningful. He expertly maneuvered his tongue throughout Harry's mouth, exploring every corner. With one hand, he combed his fingers through his loose curls, gripping Harry's neck with the other.

Louis had waited so long for this moment. Too long. All those years of awkwardness , trying to push his feelings to the back of his mind, to suppress them, pretending that they were only friends....And now that it was finally here, he wasn't gonna waist a single second. It all felt like a magnificent dream ...and he didn't intend to wake up any time soon.

********

A few minutes later, they lied together in Louis' bed, face-up, panting, with ridiculous smiles on their faces. They just couldn't comprehend the last few minutes' events.

"I love you...." Louis sighed. "So, _so_ much."

"And I, you. Love spending time. With you," Harry laughed.

They both laughed. A moment of silence went by...

_"I can't believe it..."_ he thought. _"Harry Styles, my best friend. Who I just kissed! I kissed him! And...and he kissed back. I just can't wrap my head around it. I kissed Harry. I told him I loved him. But...does he love me back?"_

" _Do_ you?" He asked.

Harry was confused. "Do I what?"

Louis was hesitant. "Do you...love me back?"

Harry was silent. He spoke nothing. Unreadable.

Louis squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just...I don't know why I said that, that was so...I'm so sorry Harry. You really don't need to answer that-"

He was cut off by Harry's lips. Louis' eyelids fluttered closed, as he let the kiss envelope him. Harry kissed a while longer, before pulling back. He smiled, brushing Louis' hair out of his eyes.

"Does that answer your question?" He smiled, seductively.

"Ah yeah," Louis sighed, his eyes still closed. "Thank you."

"For what, Lou?"

"For...for staying. For not running away when I told you my story. I was afraid that...that..." Louis trailed off.

"That I would what?" Harry asked.

"...you'd leave me," Louis said, in a small voice.

Harry's eyes softened. "Oh, Lou," he brought Louis close. "I will never leave you."

"I'm gonna hold you to that," Louis laughed. "Promise me."

"Okay."

"And I'll promise something, too," Louis smiled.

"Alright, Cutie," Harry grinned. "I will never leave you, Louis Tomlinson. This I promise you, will all my heart."

"And I promise that I will never love anyone else as much as I love you. This I promise _you_ , Harry Styles," he cuddled into his chest.

"Corny," Harry replied.

"Yours  is worse," Louis laughed.

The two shared another kiss. This one not so much passionate but _meaningful_ , as if it were officially sealing the deal.

They were just about half way through when Louis realized something, and, to Harry's dismay, pulled away.

"Wait, wait," Louis stopped. "There's something I need to do. Just to make things right. Official."

"Okay, but don't take too long," Harry pouted.

"Don't worry, Harry. Hopefully, I should be back in half an hour or so. Can you manage that long?"

Harry sighed. "Fiiiiine," he whined.

Louis petted his hair. "Good boy."

********

Louis pulled up to Eleanor's driveway. Of course, she lived in a huge house now, thanks to all the money that she earned from management.

He knocked on the door. After a few minutes of standing, he realized that no one would probably come, so he let himself in, surprised that the door was unlocked.

Louis walked in, and was immediately shocked. The house was absolutely huge! It looked so much smaller from the outside...

He stood in a lobby-like space, with hard-wood flooring. A sparkling white chandelier hung from the ceiling, with a carpeted spiral staircase and wooden balcony up ahead, peering down at him.

Louis walked down the first hallway. "Eleanor, are you home?" He called. His voice echoed throughout the whole mansion. "El! I need to talk to you!"

Hearing no answer, he continued walking throughout the house. "Eleanor! I really need to sort things out with you. It's really important-"

He was interrupted by a fit of giggles. More than confused, he turned to a particular room where the sound seemed to come from.

Leaning in close, his ear to the door, he heard many disturbing sounds...

"Oh my god, you're so _dirty_ , I hate you!"

"Uh, stop teasing me!"

"Eek! Unh, babe, you're so hard...so...big"

And other things, along with moans and giggles.

"Oh hell no," he groaned.

Louis was beyond disgusted. _"That little bitch...she's been cheating this whole time! I should've known..."_ he angrily thought.

Without thinking, he knocked on the door, never thinking for a second to open it.

" _Moan*_ I'm a-ah bit- unh, busy right now- _moan*_ ah! Leave a note or something!" She shouted from the other side of the door. Louis was extremely grossed out. Furiously, he scribbled down _exactly_ what he wanted to tell her, and stormed out.

It read:

**Dear Eleanor,**

**What I wanted to tell you before I...interrupted your night, I just wanted to say: You are a bitch. A cheating, fake, lying slut, and I'm so glad that I've never had feelings for you, otherwise I'd be very hurt. Thankfully I'm not, and I will no longer have to suffer your fucking personality any more. To put it simply, I'm breaking up with  you. Have a nice life, and I hope the door to hell hits you multiple times when you walk in.**

**-Louis**

********

Louis angrily stomped into the flat, his eyebrows creased. Mumbling incoherently to himself, he slammed the door shut with a loud, _"BANG!"_

Harry's head snapped up from the couch. "Louis? You home?" He called from the living room.

"THAT BITCH!" He exclaimed loudly, causing Harry to fall off the couch in shock.  
"I cannot _believe_ her! I mean, who does she think she is?"

Harry groaned, his head sore from the drop.

"I swear to God- that mother-fucking cunt. She's such a bitch, why didn't I see it before? I'm gonna teach her a thing or two about- oh, Hazza why are you on the floor?"

Harry got up, "I should be asking _you_ the questions right now, it seems," he rubbed his head. "What happened?"

Louis sighed. "Eleanor cheated on me. She fucking cheated! But, hey. I was going there to break up with her anyways, so I guess it doesn't really matter in the end, just as long as she's out of my life for good."

"Oh, Lou. That's great but..." Harry trailed off. "What will Simon say? Won't he be furious?"

Louis' face dropped. "Shit...yeah, probably," he ran a hand through his hair. "I...I guess I didn't think that through too well, huh?"

"Maybe...but you know what? That's a _tomorrow_ thing," Harry and Louis walked into Louis' room hand-in-hand, settling down on the bed together. "All that matters to me is right now. And right now, I want you, Louis."

Louis chuckled, snuggling into Harry. "I love you, Hazza."

"I love you, too, Louis."

The two boys fell asleep in each other's arms...not a care in the world. All they cared about were each other.

And that's all that mattered.


	9. Chapter 9

_**21 Missed Calls from: Eleanor Calder** _

Louis scoffed. It was 8:00 in the morning! Did it really take that long for the truth to settle in? _"Thick skull much?"_ He thought, irritably.

As soon as he tapped the voicemail button, he was immediately bombarded by the sound of a broken-up bitch.

 ** _"WHAT THE ACTUAL FU-"_** Skip. **_"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? I'M GONNA-"_** Skip. **_"YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT STOP IGNORING MY CALLS-"_** Skip. **_"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS IS GONNA COST? YOU ARE SO INCREDIBLY-"_** Skip. **_"WHEN MY FATHER FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS YOU ARE SO-"_** Skip. **_"DO YOU HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA WHAT DEEP SHIT YOU'RE IN RIGHT NOW!?"_** Skip. **_*Sobs* I AM SO-"_** Skip. **_"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!"_**

Louis groaned. _"She's so annoying!"_ He thought to himself. _"It's not like she cared about me in the first place..."_

 ** _*Buzz_** "Oh, you've got to be kidding me-"  _ ***Buzz**_ "C'mon!" **_*Buzz_** "Alright, that's enough!" **_*Buzz_** "I swear if she-" **_*Buzz_** "You know what? FINE!"

He angrily picked up his phone and pushed the answer button.

_"WHAT!!?"_

"Jesus, um...Is this a bad time?" Zayn asked, a bit shaken. "Sorry. If...If this isn't a good time to call I can just-"

"Zayn! Oh my god, I am _so_ sorry," Louis apologized. "I'm just- Yes. Yeah, it's fine. What is it?"

"Well..." Zayn continued, a  bit timidly. "I...I'm really sorry to tell you, but Simon wants you and Harry for a writing session in about an hour. He wants to talk to you two about something? I don't know...I was just told to pass on the message. Anyways, see you there," Zayn said, before ending the call.

Louis sighed, turning his phone off. He flipped onto his side, meeting Harry's adorable sleeping face. He was breathing deep, his lips parted slightly, messy, tangled hair, looking calm and relaxed. Louis hated to wake him up...

"Hazza?" He whispered, stroking Harry's cheek, slowly. "Babe, I need you to wake up."

Harry didn't so much as twitch.  _"Shit...this isn't gonna work,"_ he thought. _"Wait! Here's an idea!"_

He started planting  tiny kisses all over his face and neck. He bit and sucked his neck and ears, giggling to himself, hearing Harry quietly moan in his sleep. Louis continued until Harry's eyelashes fluttered open, his soft green eyes clouded in sleep. Louis smiled," Good morning, Babe," he whispered, planting one more soft kiss on the tip of his nose. "You awake?"

"Mhmm, " Harry nodded, still half-asleep. Yawning, he asked," Why did you wake me up?"

Louis sighed with his partner, "Simon wants us to come in for a bit of writing and talking for a bit. Is that okay?" He asked, with his crisp Doncaster accent.

Harry sighed, his eyelashes fluttering. "Mhmm," he mumbled.

********

"So, Louis, Harry," Simon greeted them, as they sat down in his office for a short meeting. "Do you know why I have called you here today?" He asked, hands folded upon his desk formally.

They shook their heads. "I...I don't know," Louis shrugged.

Simon looked unamused. Reaching into a drawer of his desk, he pulled out a piece of paper.

But not just any piece of paper. Louis' breakup note to Eleanor.

Louis visibly paled, his eyes widened in shock. Harry scanned the note quickly, before softly gasping and looking at Louis.

"I...I..." Louis gasped. How did Simon find out?

"Louis, is this your's?" Simon raised an eyebrow, frowning.

"It...it's...yes. I-It's mine," he replied, shakily. "How did you-"

"Eleanor gave it to me this morning," he stated. _Of course._ "She seemed quite upset about it. And I am, too." He said, sternly.

Louis gulped fearfully, his thin lips formed into a small grimace. He was really gonna get it now...

Simon's expression softened. "But, I know you Louis. And I know that you wouldn't write something like this without a good reason. While Eleanor was _quite_ convincing, I'd like to hear _your_ side of the story."

Louis sighed in relief. "Oh my god, thank you. I...oh man, where to I _start_ ," he brought a hand to his temple. Meanwhile, Harry observed the conversation silently.

"Well, I...I went to her house to tell her something important. _Very_ important. And, well...I caught her doing the dirty with another. And she told me to just leave a note, so...I did. The language though...that's was just a... _heat of the moment_ , I guess." He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah."

Simon nodded in understanding. "I see," he seemed to ponder what to say next. "So...correct, you went to her house to tell her something, and she was caught _kissing_ another boy?"

"Actually...they were having _sex_ ," Louis purses his lips together. Harry and Simon's eyes widened. Louis shrugged. "Just saying it like it is."

Simon stayed silent for a moment, before shaking his head in disbelief. "I can't believe this...how much we paid her..." he pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is going to be so _expensive_..."

Louis quirked an eyebrow. "What is?"

"Firing her...we need to fire Eleanor. This is just _unacceptable_ ," he sighed.

"Oh..." Louis nodded in understanding, but secretly, in his head he was jumping with joy.

"Yes...I, I don't know how this is going to work out. I'm sure we'll think of something," Simon sighed, placing his wire-rimmed glasses on his nose.

Louis' leg started bouncing in excitement. This it what would happen if he couldn't  express his happiness verbally, it comes out physically. Harry squeezed Louis' knee in anticipation. They looked at each other with eternal happiness, their eyes gleaming with joy.

"Is there something else you'd like to mention, Louis?" Simon asked, grinning.

Louis took his gaze away from Harry, and looked at Simon, blushing. "I...um, sorry. It's, heh, we're..." Louis stuttered. "Y'see, me and Harry, we..."

"We're together," Harry stated, softly.

Simon nodded. "I see," he said, unreadable. It made Louis and Harry a bit anxious. Were they in trouble? They looked on, in anticipation.

Simon chuckled, seeing their faces. "You lads look as if I'm going to bloody murder you," he said, jokingly. "What is it?"

Louis shook himself out of his daze. "Sorry, it's just...you took it so well, so calmly," he explained. "Like it was nothing! I guess...I guess we just expected something else."

"Well, it's not really news, is it?" Simon smiled. "You guys aren't the best at being discreet. I've seen the way you two look at each other, how you act when the other is close, how upset you are when one of you isn't present..." Simon counted off. He could list a million, but he didn't want to torture the lads too much.

Louis and Harry blushed. They looked at each other, a mix of love, lust, confusion, wonder...

"Wait. Do you think...so you think that maybe we could come out? To the public?" Harry asked, excitedly. Louis' eyes widened. He gasped, the idea hitting him, barely able to contain his excitement.

Simon raised an eyebrow in amusement. "It's a thought...but I don't its ready to be put into action just yet. We need to wait for a bit. People still think you're dating Eleanor, Louis. We need to get a few things out in the news before releasing any more dramatic information," he explained. Harry and Louis' faces fell a bit. "I would suggest laying low for a bit. We still need to fire Eleanor and release the news online. Until then, you two should stay in for a while. Don't want to stir up too much chaos just yet." Louis and Harry nodded in understanding.

Simon finished. "Well, this has been quite the meeting, I must say," he said. "You two are excused. I'll have someone let you know what happens."

Louis and Harry nodded. "Thank you, sir," they stood up.

Simon smiled. "Any time, boys. Any time," he said, picking up his phone. It was obvious that he needed to make a very important call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg guys I have a story to tell u!!!
> 
> So, I got my first kiss today! (Well, actually, it was 2, but I count the second as my first XD) So, there's this girl that I really like, and we were girlfriends, and today, a large group of friends were playing truth or dare, and someone told me to kiss my crush. So I did, (and she already knew it was gonna be her cuz we're dating) but it was quick, and I remember she was wearing lip gloss, so it was a bit sticky XD. Anyways, it was quick, and honestly, not that satisfying. So, I got an idea, and asked around for a bit on whether I should do it or not. Eventually, I decided to do it. So, I went up to her and said, "I have one more dare for you to do" and she said. "What is it?" So I leaned in close and whispered, "I dare you to wipe off the lip gloss and give me a real kiss." So, we both retreated to the bathroom and had a real kiss. !!My heart is still racing!!! XD <3


	10. Chapter 10

It had been weeks since their meeting with Simon. Eleanor had been let go, finally. The two hadn't heard from her since. They continued to stay in most of the time, laying low. It was okay, though. Because Louis was having the time of his life.

He and Harry had gotten much closer since then. Without all the beards and fake dates, along with the fact that they had no major concerts coming up, the two had a lot of free time to enjoy one another. They did cute couple things, like holding hands, kissing, and cuddling. They also slept in the same bed now. No, they didn't do any of the frickle-frackle, but instead, they would snuggle close every night, gazing into each other's eyes lustfully, and at the end, they fall asleep in each other's arms, not a care in the world. Louis' depression really seemed to just...disappear when he was with Harry.

It had been an amazing time. And now, they were going on one month. One month of being together. This Saturday would officially be their anniversary.

Sure, a month may not seem like a long time, but to Louis, it meant to much more.

One month since the day Harry had found out he was depressed. One month since he had kissed Harry for the first time. One month since they had admitted their feeling for each other. And ever since that day, he had felt nothing but love, comfort, and happiness. Ever since Harry found out, all he has done is helped him get better. Louis hasn't cut or purged in weeks. And it was all thanks to Harry.

So, because of this, Louis was going to do something special. He was going to get Harry a present that meant something to him. Something with a true definition of Louis' love for him. Something to give Harry the thanks he had never been able to give. And he knew exactly what it was.

Louis walked home the day of their anniversary to a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. He followed his nose to the source of the heavenly scent, and walked into the kitchen, seeing Harry by the stove, placing food on beautifully decorated plates. Harry turned around and saw Louis, immediately grinning that cheeky smile of his.

"Happy anniversary, Lou!" He exclaimed. Louis walked over to the kitchen table, and Harry set a plate in front of him. It was a delicious looking steak dinner, with mashed potatoes and peas, with a glass of red wine on the side. Louis' eyes widened, his stomach already grumbling. He looked at Harry, who was sitting down and grinned thankfully.

"Harry, this looks amazing! You did this just for me?" Harry nodded. "My Boobear deserves to best, doesn't he?" Louis smiled wide. "Thank you so much, Hazza."

Harry picked up his glass of wine. "Anything for you, Love. Cheers." The two clinked their glasses together and took a sip. Digging into their scrumptious meal, they enjoyed every bite. They only engaged in small talk, because really, they were just too into their meal. Afterwards, the two had completely stuffed themselves. "That was amazing, Haz," Louis thanked. "But I can't eat another bite."

Harry nodded. "Me too. I'm full," he replied, rubbing his belly.

Louis stood up. "Thank you so much, Harry. You really outdid yourself," he said. "Kudos, really. This has been the start of an amazing evening. It really has, but now it's my turn."

Harry raised an eyebrow, standing up as well. "Hm?"

Louis smirked. "You heard me. You've done your share of touching things, now it's my time to impress _you_. Follow me," Louis said, a bit suggestively. Harry followed close behind, a bit hesitant, but at the same time, excited to see what Louis had in store.

They walked into the living room. Louis gestured for Harry to sit down, which he did. "Perfect, that's great. Now wait there," Louis ordered, starting to walk away. Turning around one more time, he added, "Oh! And close your eyes! Don't open them no matter what!"

Harry chuckled. Curiously, he closed his eyes, waiting in anticipation for his loved one to return.

Meanwhile, Louis rummaged around to find Harry's present. He eventually found it under his bed, and sighed, gratefully. Louis returned to the couch, seeing Harry holding a throw pillow over his face. He chuckled.

Sitting down next to Harry, he picked up the lad's big hand, and put something on it, holding his breath. Harry gasped, but kept his eyes shut. "Alright, Hazza. You can look now."

Harry lowered the pillow and opened his eyes. They traveled down to his hand, and he gasped, his eyes blowing up to the size of saucers. His expression filled with shock, and a tiny bit of worry.

Sitting on the fourth finger of his right hand was...a ring. "Louis! I...I-"

"Don't worry, Haz. We're not getting married _just_ yet. It's too early for that," Louis reassured. Harry's expression seemed to soften. "It's a promise ring. Saying that no matter what, I will always love you. And I will always be faithful, because you have helped me through the darkest of times in my life, and I want to thank you. And the promises we made...well, it just seems quite fitting, doesn't it?"

Harry looked at the ring. Turning his hand left and right, he examined it more closely. It was a sterling steel band with a nice convex outside surface. It was polished, making its silvery features really stand out. It was 5 mm wide. Harry sighed happily. "Oh, Louis. It's...it's beautiful."

Louis smiled. "You like it?"

Harry hugged him close, wrapping his arms around the small boy, thankfully. "I love it. Thank you _so_ much. It's amazing."

Louis grinned. "And you haven't even seen the best part," he pulled away. Harry stared in confusion. Louis chuckled. "Check out the inside," he pointed out.

Harry slipped the ring off once again. Flipping it over, he saw a small engraving on the inside of the band. In smooth, black cursive written letters, it read, _"Only You."_

Louis smiled seeing Harry read the message. "I had it specially made a while ago. The two matching rings have our promises written inside them. Remember? I said that I'd never love anyone else as much as I love _you_ , and only you."

Harry chuckled at the memory. Louis pulled out something from his pocket. A matching tiring, identical to Harry's. But on the inside, it read, _"Eternally Yours."_

"And _you_ said..." Louis started.

"That I would never leave you, no matter what," Harry finished. He now had tears in his eyes. Joyful tears. "Oh, Louis. They're amazing. This is the greatest present I think I've ever received," he said, pulling Louis into another tight, loving embrace. "Thank you."

Louis hugged back, blushing. "Anything for you, my Love."

And that sealed the deal. Their promises continued to stay true to one another, and they future seemed bright.

Well, to _them_ at least.

Meanwhile...

**_Eleanor's P.O.V. (Ooh this is where is gets interesting)_ **

She sat at a table in a crowded, noisy bar. Staring at her phone anxiously and angrily. "Goddamnit! Where the _fuck_ is she!!?"

She made her way over to the bartender and asked for 2 glasses of vodka. After getting her drinks, El walked over to her previous seat, only to find a dumb blond had taken it.

"Finally you decide to _show up_ ," she sneered. "I was beginning to think you'd _pussied out_ ," she snapped, setting down the two glasses.

"You know me, when it comes to _these_ types of situations, I'm always there," she winked, taking a long sip of wine.

"Right. Thank for showing up, Taylor," she welcomed. "Now, let's get down to business."

Taylor lowered her lips from the glass' edge. "Yeah, why did you call me here, anyways?"

Eleanor smirked. "Well, you see...Simon fired me. I was let go weeks ago after Louis dumped me, and I want him back."

Taylor raised an eyebrow. Taking another drink, she asked, "So why does this concern _me_?"

"I'm so glad you asked," she took another drink. "The only reason Louis isn't _mine_ is because he's gay, the little faggot..." she muttered irritably. She sighed. "Anyways, the only thing keeping _him_ and myself from getting stupid rich is his boyfriend. I need him out of the picture."

Taylor took another long sip. "Again, why do you need _me_? I have no relation to the problem," she complained.

Eleanor raised an eyebrow. "Actually, you _do_. You two definitely know each other. You've...had a past with him."

"Who is it," Taylor asked, downing her 3rd glass. "Who is the guy?"

"Harry. Harry Styles."

Taylor gasped. She nearly dropped her glass, the drink splashed around. "Harry? Harry Edward fucking Styles!!? He's gay!!?"

Eleanor smirked. This was exactly what she wanted. "I know...he and Louis are dating. And we just can't have that can we?"

"I'm outraged! Harry and I broke up months ago! It's too soon! He should still want me, right?"

"Yeah, of course," Eleanor agreed. "Which is why I'm going to help you. I get Louis, you get Harry. It all works out."

Taylor grabbed another glass of vodka from a passing bartender.

Eleanor leaned in close. "I can get him back for you. "What do you say?" Eleanor reached her hand out to shake, trying sealing the deal.

To her dismay, the dumb blonde just took another sip of vodka. "I don't know..." Taylor pondered.

Eleanor stood up. A few people in the bar turned their heads, but it didn't make a scene. She propped herself on the tabletop, making her way over to a wide-eyed Taylor Swift, shot glasses being crushed at the point of her heel and she stomped across.

The brunette crouched down in front of Taylor, and brought her head down to her level so they met eye to eye.

"Tell me something, Taylor..."

Taylor gulped nervously.

"Don't you miss it? The escalating popularity? The huge fortune you make just by being around him?"

"And let's not forget, he makes for some great song lyrics, right?"

"Uh...I-"

"Taylor. Don't you need someone to worship the very ground you walk on? To wait on you hand and foot? To tell you how good you look on a daily basis? Someone to buy you expensive clothes...and take you to 5-star restaurants? And, let's be real here, break up with you and inspire the greatest album in history?"

"Your Taylor Swift. You can get any guy you want, wrap him around your little finger, and make a few bucks off of him at your beck and call. Any. Guy. You. Want."

"So let me ask you again. Do. You. Miss it?"

"I...I..." Taylor's lips trembled as she tried to find the words to respond.

"YES!" Taylor cried out for the whole bar to hear. Heads turned, but she didn't care. She pressed on.

"I haven't come out with a new single in ages! There's been no heartbreak, no drama in my life!" Taylor cried, her perfect mascara now bleeding down her cheeks. "I can't just just let my fans down like that! I need him just as much as he need me! I'M SUCH A GOOD GIRLFRIEND, EL! EVERYONE LOVES ME!!!"

At this point Taylor was screaming like a maniac...and Eleanor loved it.

"Oh Taylor you're so right, honey," Eleanor commented with a smirk. "Here, have another drink," she handed Taylor another glass of vodka.

Taylor psychotically snatched it from the cackling brunette and smashed it on the floor. She let out ear-splitting scream rang throughout the entire bar, the alcohol finally kicking in.

"That's my girl!" Eleanor clapped. "Now, what do you say? Are we gonna fucking do this or what?"

Taylor cried. She panted, drying the tears from her face.

"Let's do it. What's the plan?"


	11. Chapter 11

"I'll only be gone for a bit, Lou. Just gonna do a bit of shopping, okay?" Harry said, pulling his shoes on.

Louis pouted. "Fine, but be home by dinner. You know I can't cook."

Harry chuckled, planting a tiny kiss on the tip of Louis' little nose. "I will."

********

Harry made his way through the aisles, browsing for certain things on his list before he heard it. A shrill exclamation from behind him. Wincing, he turned around, and was Met face to face with Taylor Swift.

"Harry! Oh my god, I can't believe it's you! You look so hot! Did you miss me?" She asked, cuddling up to him in the middle of the store.

His eyes widened. _"What is happening?"_ He asked himself. "What are you doing? Why are you here, Tay?"

She squealed. "Oh my god, I love it when you call me that," she said, seductively. "You know, I forgot how much I love being with you, Harry." She stroked his chest with her long, manicured fingertips.

Harry scoffed, pushing her off his person. "Stop! We don't have anything anymore. I'm done with you. I have a boyfriend now. It's over between us, okay?"

She gasped. "You're gay? You can't be gay! How are we supposed to be together if you're gay! How can we be a functioning couple if you like boys!? That doesn't even make sense, Hazza."

"Only Louis can call me that, you little bitch," he sneered. "And for the last time, we will _never_ be a functioning couple because we're not a couple! Okay? Now leave me alone, I need to get back home to Lou-"

"I don't think that necessary," she stopped him in his tracks. "Louis is a little busy right now..."

Harry stared at her in confusion. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

********

_Knock. Knock._

_Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock._

_KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK . KNOCK._

_KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK-_

"What the actual hell!!?" He exclaimed. "Who the fuck is that?"

He opened the door, not even thinking to look through the peep hole at who it is. The door swung open, and immediately, his face washed over with anger.

"Hey, Lou. Did you miss me?" Eleanor asked. She wore a slinky black cocktail dress, accompanied with some inappropriately long black heels.

Louis scoffed. "Why are you here?" He asked, angrily.

"Oh, Louis. I-"

"And why do you look like a stripper from the 1900s?" he sassed, scrunching his nose in disgust. "You look absolutely horrendous. Who is your stylist? Your kinky grandfather?"

"I do _not_ -"

"And why would you show up here if you knew that I would just shut the door in your stupid slutty face?" He asked. "Clearly it was poor planning on your part. Why don't you go home and rethink your whole evil scheme, because it's really not cutting it. Not good. Not well. Awful. Try again soon, I'll be waiting, bye!" He shut the door with a slam in her face, only remembering the stupidly confused expression she wore. He sighed in relief. Surely she was gone now-

 _BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM_ -

"Okay then, maybe not," he said to himself.

He swung the door open once again. "I'm sorry, may I help you miss? I believe the local slut convention is that a'way."

"Not funny. I'm coming in, you stupid dick." She wore a furious sneer on her face. She stomped into the house without a say, throwing her shoes across the living room floor.

"Woah, woah, woah. Not fucking cool," he snapped. "Get out!"

"I can't. There's just too much we have to do today, so little time," she called, making her way into Louis' room.

"Hey, that is not for you. That is full on Harry and I, No Sluts Allowed Territory. You can't be in here," he said, following her inside. He found her on the bed, without her dress on, hair down, a suggestive grin on her face. He wasn't having any of that. "Very funny. I only suck dick. No pussies allowed."

Yet, she stood her ground. She stood up, and seductively led him to sit down on the bed, practically dragging him there. "Oh, c'mon, Lou. Don't you miss me? Just a little?" She whispered. "Cause I know how much I've missed you."

Louis scoffed. "No way. Now that Harry and I are dating, I've never been happier," he stated proudly. "Now if you could kindly get the fuck off of me-"

"I know something that could make you even happier," she whispered, her eyelids fluttering closed. She gripped his shoulders tight and lowered her lips onto his. She aggressively made out with him. It was completely one sided, as Louis was trying in vain to get away, but the girl was stronger than she looked.

Just then, there was a knocking on the door. Eleanor gasped and pulled back, finally giving the man some air. Louis gasped loudly and took a huge breath. He wiped her foul taste from his lips and glared at her in absolute disgust, still catching his breath.

"Get...away from me..." Louis stood up, panting. He clenched his fists and furrowed his brows.

"YOU FUCKING SLUT!!!" Eleanor winced at the extreme volume of his furious voice booming throughout the whole flat.

The brunette played innocent, putting on a sickly sweet face, and batting her long, thick eyelashes. "Louis, baby...what ever do you mean-"

"Don't play you stupid-ass games with me, Eleanor," Louis said stomping towards the evil woman. He laid a strong hand on her shoulder and shoved her to the other side of the bed, to which she replied with an, "Oomph!"

"Harry is my boyfriend, you homophobic whore. What in your _fucking_  mind..."

"Louis? You home, babe?" Harry's voice rang as the front door creaked open.

"...would make you think..." Louis continued, not hearing Harry enter the flat.

Luckily, He and Eleanor were in Louis' room, a while away from the front door, giving her just enough time to think of a cruel, sick plan.

"that its okay...to..." Louis trailed off. He put is hands to his hips, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "What the hell are you looking at me like _that_  for?" She smirked at her angry ex, and her lips spread into a mischievous grin, her sickeningly high-pitched giggles filling up the room.

She grabbed on to his wrist in a tight grip and pulled his foreword in to her arms. Louis was taken aback by this sudden movement.

"Eleanor? What are you-AH!!"

His sentence was cut off and Eleanor pulled Louis into a passionate, violent kiss.

"Lou? The weirdest thing happened today...let me tell ya," Harry's voice and footsteps came closer and closer, as Louis tried frantically to pull out of the disgusting kiss. He finally pushed the repulsive brunette away from him, grimacing at her wide and evil-looking smile. Louis got up to run away from her before Harry saw...but it was too late.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON HERE!!?"

The ex-couples eyes widened as Harry appeared in the doorway, absolutely appalled at what he saw. Tears streamed down his face and he shook his head in disbelief.

Eleanor grinned to herself as she got another treacherous idea. She put on a fake frown and gasped as loud and dramatically as she could, making the two men look at her questioningly.

"LOUIS? YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME!!?" She shoved him weakly, leaving a quite confused Louis, and a much more confused Harry.

She started to hyperventilate. (Fake, obviously) "Y-You s-said that w-we -gasp- would be forever! Didn't you? You said you were straight! I CAN'T BELIEVE A GAVE MY VIRGINITY TO AN ASSHOLE LIKE YOU!" Eleanor ran out of the house. After pulling her slutty black dress on, of course.

Once she was out of earshot, her fake sobs turned into mischievous chuckles, as she cackled like a witch.

"Let's see how you get out of this one, Doncaster boy," she sauntered off into her car and drove away, still grinning.

********

Tears streamed down Harry's and Louis' faces. Neither of them could speak, both being in shock, at a loss for words. After a long, deafening silence, Louis decided to speak first.

"Harry, it's not what it looks like-"

"YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME? ON BOTH OF US!!?" Harry screamed, gesturing to where Eleanor had last been seen. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!?"

Louis winced at his extreme voice. He shook his head. _"No. No, nononononononono. This can't be happening,_ " he thought.

"Harry, no! That's not what-"

"And not only did you cheat _and_  lie to both of us...you fucking _raped_ her?" Harry threw his arm up to the ceiling, tears ran down his face like a waterfall.

"I didn't! I bloody swear to god!" Louis held his arms up in defense. "I did not  _rape_  her!!! We didn't even have  _sex_! I didn't _'take her virginity'_!" Louis said making it seem to be the most ridiculous thing he'd heard that day...because it was. Trying to crack a joke, he added, "Eleanor lost her virginity _wayyy_  before me," Louis chuckled, which he soon realized was the _wrong_  thing to do when Harry's face dropped even lower.

"Is this funny? Is this funny to you? Was our whole 'relationship' just a bloody joke?" Harry's voice barely above a whisper, shaking his head, now more hurt than ever.

"What? N-no! That's not what...I mean...you don't..." Louis tried to explain everything so Harry would understand, but how was Louis supposed to do that when he didn't quite understand himself?

"That's what I thought," Harry sadly nodded. He looked down at his hand. The gleaming silver ring shining from the reflective tears of Harry's eyes.

"Harry. We just need to talk it out. It's all just a huge a misunderstanding." He took a hold of Harry's soft hand. "Please believe me when I say that everything I told you that night in the bedroom is still true. You are the one I fancy and that will never change for the world. I love you, and no one else." Louis smiled as he stroked Harry's ring with his thumb. "I promise."

For a split second, a wave of hesitation passed Harry's face. It seemed as though he might actually forgive him.

Or at least that's what Louis thought...until Harry pulled his hand away. His breath hitched.

Harry brought his hand to his ring finger. "Some promises are meant to be broken. You said so yourself."

Louis gasped. "Hazza. Don't say that," He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I'm sorry, Lou," the curly haired lad bit his lip. He took a deep breath." I don't know what to believe anymore." Harry sighed as he started to wiggle loose the ring on his hand.

Louis' eyes were so wide it seemed they might fall out of their sockets. He practically felt his jaw drop to the floor. The once joyful and strong Doncaster lad saw his last shred of happiness crumble before him. His breath hitched as he brought a fist to his mouth, holding back a sob as the curly-haired boy slipped the silver band off of his finger and tossed it to Louis without even a glance.

"You can have this back. I don't need it anymore," Harry blinked back tears and he turned to face the door, taking a few steps.

"Harry, no," Louis ran up to the Cheshire boy and gripped his arm so tight, it was as if he let go, the world would fall apart.

"Why?" He almost pleaded, his voice faltering as he tried to hold back the tears that were about to come. Harry just pulled his arm away from Louis, not even daring to make eye contact.

"What's the point of a promise ring if there's no promise to keep?"

And with those last, heart shattering words, Harry walked out of his old flat, not even giving a second look, leaving Louis to cry. All alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big chapter, huh guys? Comment what you think will happen next!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick chapter recap:
> 
> Taylor and Eleanor came up with a plan to break Louis and Harry apart. While Taylor is annoying Harry at the store, Eleanor comes to their flat and starts flirting with Louis. Harry comes home to find Louis and Eleanor kissing, and is heartbroken. Harry gives back the promise ring and leaves, saying, "What's the point of a promise ring if there's no promise to keep?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's gonna be a lot of P.O.V. switching in this chapter, so just bear with me XD

Louis stood at the door, shocked. He had no idea what the fuck just happened. He just couldn't comprehend it...until it came down on his like a pile of bricks.

_Harry hates you. He gave back the ring. He doesn't want you anymore._

A tear slipped down Louis' face. It' couldn't be true.

_"What's the point of a promise ring if their's no promise to keep?"_ The words replayed in his mind. A never ending loop of sorrow and pain. All he could hear was the sadness and betrayal in Harry's voice. All he could see was the pained expression over his dull green eyes, tears polling out of them.

He dropped the rings on the ground. They hit the hardwood floor with a clink. He then fell on his knees right next to them.

Louis cried. He wept harshly, shaking with tears that just kept in coming. He didn't even try to wipe them away, for it was no use. He sobbed and sobbed, for minutes on and on. He just couldn't stop.

Harry was gone. It was fucking over.

A growing puddle of tears formed on the hardwood floor, Louis sitting on his hands and knees, not having enough energy to get up. He had no reason to. The one he loved...his one and only...was now gone forever.

And along with that was his motivation to live. Harry had been his everything. The only thing that could distract him from the dark urges of his depression.

And now that he was gone, there was nothing to stop him.

Nothing to stop him from making a dangerous mistake.

********

**_Harry's P.O.V._ **

Harry was sprawled out in a star on Niam's living room couch. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. His cheeks were stained from dried tears. His hair was a tangled mess.

But he didn't care.

He just couldn't understand. Millions of questions flooded his mind all at once, almost making him dizzy.

_Why Eleanor? They broke up weeks ago!_

_Didn't they?_

_And why with a girl? He told me that he way gay!_

_Didn't he?_

Harry tried to recall the moments from earlier that day. He winced at the memory. It hurt so much.

His arms tangled within her's.

His arms...

His strong arms...

His...scarred arms...

He immediately shot up, his eyes wide in realization.

_Oh. No._

Without a second thought, he bolted out of his flat, in to his car, and was driving as fast as he could to his and Louis' old flat, barely scribbling down a note for Niall.

It read:

**Had to leave. Urgent.**

**-Harry**

********

**_Louis' P.O.V._ **

Even though he was still crying his eyes out, he still managed to make his way out of the living room.

He still managed to trudge his way to the bathroom, emotionlessly.

He still managed to rummage around in his drawer.

Still managed to find a blade, and tear his skin to pieces.

**_Harry's P.O.V_ **

Harry was currently breaking every traffic law possible. But he didn't care. He just had to get to the flat before Louis did anything he'd regret.

He couldn't believe it. How could he leave Louis is such a state? It was too dangerous.

And it wasn't the outside threats that could hurt him.

It was himself.

_**Louis' P.O.V.** _

The room started to spin. He could have never imagined such a small body could produce such a large amount of blood. It pooled everywhere, all over the floor, his clothes, his hair. Everywhere.

All he saw was red.

He had made over 40 cuts all over his stomach, legs, and arms. Once he ran out of room, he's just go over the ones he had already made. He couldn't even feel the pain. He felt numb. A man possessed.

It was too much pain to handle. He looked like he had bloody murdered somebody. And is was true, he had.

He was killing _himself_.

**_Harry's P.O.V._ **

He desperately swung the door open, surprised it was still unlocked. But that didn't matter. He had to get to Louis. Before it was too late.

_Was_ it too late? Could he save his love?

Entering the flat, he saw no one. That's wasn't a good sign. The silence of the room was eerie and frightening. Harry called his name. No answer.

He called and called. No one answered. Harry was really getting scared now. Where could he...

And then he saw it. Coming from Louis' bathroom. Even though the door was shut, he could still see the blood pouring out from under the crack between the door and the ground. And it was growing by the second.

**_Louis' P.O.V_ **

"Louis!!?"

He gasped.

_"Oh no. Not now. Any time but now..."_

"Harry?" Louis whisper-cried. He couldn't let Harry see him like this.

His arms, legs, and stomach were all bleeding from fresh cuts and slashes, blade in hand, face dirtied with dry tears, hair stuck to his forehead with blood and sweat.

"Louis!" Harry's voice knocked Louis out of his daze. " I know you're in there. I can hear you panting. I see the blood! Why won't you answer the door!!?"

_Ignore him. Keep going._

"Louis!!? I know what you're doing in there!! OPEN THE DOOR!"

_You broke your promise. It's too late now. Keep going._

"LOUIS!"

_Doesn't care about you anymore. He left you. He will never love you._

The pounding became even louder.

"LOUIS! PLEASE! LET ME IN!"

_He's just going to yell at you. He hates you._

"LOUIS OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW! I'M BEGGING YOU! LOUIS! PLEASE!"

Harry's cries became desperate and anxious.

_See what you did? You broke his heart. Shattered it. It's all your fault._

"I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT I SAID! I DIDN'T MEAN IT, I SWEAR! PLEASE, LOUIS! PLEASE!

Then, Louis heard the one thing he didn't expect to hear at all.

"I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU, LOUIS! PLEASE ANSWER THE DOOR, LOU!"

Louis stopped.

Harry sounded desperate, not angry. He wanted to see him. He was crying.

And he said...he said he loved Louis?

The reality of the situation dawned upon him. What was he doing? He was trying to kill him self! And for what?

His eyes widened. His hands shook madly. He took in his surroundings. Blood. That's all he saw. Blood everywhere.

He had to get up. He had to see Harry. To apologize. It wasn't right. He needed help.

Louis stumbled to the door unsteadily, gripping the countertop for support. Blood trickled down his arms. It pooled in to puddles on the tiled floor from the deep, open gashes on his stomach, arms, and legs.

His whole body ached, but he pushed through.

After painfully limping to the door, his vision clouded. He could barely make out the doorknob that his hand was placed on.

It took all of the consciousness and willpower to turn that knob.

All of it.

A sharp pain shot up his arm, and his vision coated in black. A soft whimper was let out, before he finally gave into all of the pain and exhaustion that had been weighing on him for months, and collapsed.

Right at Harry's feet.

He barely heard very faint, terrified cries as an invisible black cloak draped over him, and he went unconscious.


	13. Chapter 13

_The door swung open. Immediately, Louis was seen, bloody and weak, passed out on the ground. Harry almost threw up at the sight. He quickly pulled out his smartphone as fast as humanly possible, dialing the emergencies._

_"999, what's your emergency?"_

_"My boyfriend! He's...he's passed out here in a pool of his own blood! Please hurry!" He desperately called into the phone, his hands shaking with fear._

_"Alright, sir. We're on our way. What's the address?"_

_Harry gave them the address, and hung up. He waited for them to arrive , anxiously trying to avoid looking at Louis' limp body._

_The blaring sound ambulance sirens was heard outside the flat. A harsh knocking, and Harry swung the door open._

_"Where is he, sir?" Harry fearfully pointed in the direction of his unconscious boyfriend, not saying a word._

_The paramedics rushed to Louis' side. They gasped. "Oh my dear lord! What happened?"_

_"I...I think he tried to commit suicide. I came into the house, and he was inside the bathroom. When he opened the door...he just passed out in a pool of his own blood," he told them, shakily._

_"We're going to have to admit him to the hospital right away. He's lost a lot of blood."_

_Harry nodded. "O-Okay..."_

_They lifted Lou into a stretcher and loaded him into the ambulance. They were just about to take off when Harry stopped them. "Wait! I need to come with him! Please!" He pleaded._

_The paramedic looked at him pitifully, and sighed. "Okay, fine. You can ride in the ruck with us."_

_"Thank you so much," he thanked, grateful._

_They got to the hospital and rushed him to the emergency room immediately. Harry was forced to stay in the waiting room, where he dialed Liam, Niall, and Zayn. He just couldn't be alone. Not now. He needed someone to be there for him. To tell him he was okay..._

_To tell him Louis would be okay..._

********

"Harry, mate. We're so sorry, but you need to calm down," Liam tried to reassure him. Harry had been pacing back and forth for the past 20 minutes, he was surprised the floor hadn't given out. "We don't know anything yet."

"Exactly! We don't know _anything_! Why can't they tell us something! Anything! I need to know he's okay!" Harry breathed heavily, panicking.

Niall looked at the poor lad. It broke his heart to see him in such a state. Broken, painful, sad. It wasn't Harry. It just wasn't him. Usually in these types of situations, he could say something, suggest an activity, do something to brighten the mood. But...this wasn't like other times. He was in no spot to try and make things happy.

"How long have we been waiting? It's been a while... Surely they must have _some_ information on Louis' condition," Perrie said, resting her head on Zayn's shoulder. When Harry had  called, the two had been on a date, so they came together. "They've got to know something, right?"

"I'll ask, " Zayn stood up, and made his way over to the front desk.

The woman there looked up from her computer, and smiled at him. "Can I help you, sir?" She asked, politely. Zayn stared at her in confusion. How could someone be so happy working in such a sad environment? Crying, exhausted families sat all around, injured people, and rushing doctors flooded the halls.

"I was wondering if you had any information on a friend of ours? He was admitted about half an hour ago?"

"What's the patient's name?"

"Louis. Louis William Tomlinson."

"Right," she began typing on her computer. "L...Louis Tomlinson...Tomlinson- aha! Here we go!" She found something, finally. Harry snatched his head to the side, hearing what she said. He immediately ran to Zayn's side, joining him by the desk. "You did?" Harry asked in anticipation . "That's great! How...how is he?"

She read off of the screen, "He's in the emergency room currently. He'll probably need to have blood transferred to him, he's lost a lot."

As if on cue, a doctor rushed into the waiting room, calling, "It's Louis Tomlinson. Are there any donors here? We need type B blood! Please, it's urgent!"

Harry raised his hand. "I'm a donor! I can help!"

The doctor rushed over to him, thankful. "Do you have type B blood?" Harry nodded.

"Follow us, sir," the doctor guided him away. Harry was led into a room, where they asked him to sit on a bench. His hands shook a bit. He seriously fucking hated needles.

"We need a lot of blood, sir. Are you sure you want to do this?" The nurse asked, her bright blue eyes clouded in worry. Looking into them, they reminded Harry of Louis. Which gave him a boost of confidence.

"Yes. Anything," he stated, strongly.

"Alright, then. You may feel a slight pinch soon," she warned. She used a cotton ball to disinfect a small area of Harry's arm, he shivered at the temperature. And soon, he felt a small prick, and it was over. A cotton ball an and elastic band were placed on his arm, and he was finished.

"You may feel a bit light headed, so you should just sit tight until you get your energy back, sweetie." She handed him a cookie and a glass of water, which he took, gratefully. After a few minutes, he unsteadily made his way back out to the waiting room, where Zayn, Liam, Niall, and Perrie rushed to his side.

"How are you? Is Louis gonna be okay?" They asked in anticipation.

Harry sighed. "I don't know..." They all sighed sadly, and returned to their seats.

Soon, a doctor came into the hallway, asking of Louis Tomlinson. Harry hesitantly walked up. "Are you family of Louis William Tomlinson, sir?" The doctor asked.

"I...I'm his boyfriend. His family lives out of town," Harry explained. The doctor frowned for a moment, skeptical, but carried on.

"Alright then...Mr. Tomlinson has been given the blood successfully, but he's currently in a coma. We have no way of knowing if the blood has replenished itself, but we can only hope."

Harry sighed, worriedly. "Do you know when he's going to wake up?" He asked, fearfully. "Do you know... _if_ he'll wake up?"

The doctor sighed. "Again, we can only hope," he returned to the rooms.

Harry frowned. That wasn't the answer he was looking for. He silently made it back to his seat, the tears threatening to come out. He tried in vain to blink them away.

He had to be hopeful. To be strong. For Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry! The next few chapters are gonna be much happier! Just You wait! ~•U•~


	14. Chapter 14

"Can I just visit him one more time? Please?" Harry pleaded to the doctor. "I promise I'll be quick. I-I know how many times I've asked already but I just need to see him. Just  _one_ more time! Please?"

The doctor sighed in sympathy. "Quickly. Studies have shown that the sound of someone's voice can help awake the patient. Especially if they're close, having a special connection if some sort. Do you and Mr. Tomlinson have any sort of connection?"

Harry nodded. "I'm... I'm his boyfriend."

The doctor nodded. "That works," he smiled. Opening the door for Harry, he said," Go ahead."

Harry thanked the older man and rushed to the bed to see him. The doctor smiled. "Young love," he sighed.

Harry stopped by the bed abruptly, taking Louis' form. His eyes were still closed, his resting eyelids and long eyelashes covering them. His chocolate brown hair was a bit tangled and messy, but still looked perfect. His skin was a bit pale, but his cheeks still had a healthy rosy flush to them. His lips were parted slightly, his chest rising and falling in a deep, steady practice. Harry sighed, crouching down to his level on his knees. 

Following the doctor's advice, he started to whisper, "I miss you, my Love," Harry stroked Louis' cold cheek. "Please wake up, Lou. I can't imagine life without you. I...I-I can't..." he trailed off, unable to hold back his tears. He silently wept next to his unconscious boyfriend. Wishing with all his heart that he would open his eyes. "It's been a week, Louis. A week. One whole week of having to suffer without you. One whole week of being alone. Sure, Liam, Zayn, and Niall are here, but... it's not the same. I need _you_ , Louis. And now... you might be gone forever," tears streamed down his face. "All I want is for you to be here. To see your beautiful blue eyes peering into mine. To hear your wonderful voice again. I... I just want you to wake up," he pleaded. "And... and because of _me_ , that may never happen," he sobbed, speaking to the possibly lifeless body.

"This is all my fault! I left you...I-I could have saved you," he cried. "I should have been there for you! You're my boyfriend. My Love, my Louis..." he reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the ring.

"My Promise," he said, softly. He graciously took hold of Louis' limp, cold hand and slipped the ring on, catching a glimpse of the words...

"Eternally Yours..." a small voice croaked. Harry snatched his head up, startled. And looked for the source of the voice. His eyes fell upon Louis, looking tired and weak, but still Louis. His Louis. He was awake!

"Louis? Louis! You're awake!" Harry rejoiced, gripped his hand happily. "I can't believe it! You're here! Alive! How are you?"

Louis shrugged. "Not the best, but...I've never been a morning person, have I?" He joked, his voice rough from sleep.

Harry slammed the _'help'_ button, an immediately, a nurse rushed in with her clipboard in hand. "He's awake! Oh my goodness! I need to get the doctor, I'll let you guys have some alone time..." she finished, rushing off to find the doctor. Leaving Harry and Louis alone.

"How long have I been out?" He asked, examining the tubes and machines around him.

"A week, Louis," Harry explained. "One week. Worst seven days of my life," he joked, more tears threatening to spill.

"I don't understand... what happened? Why am I here?" Louis asked, confusedly. Harry frowned. "You...you don't remember?" Louis shook his head.

"I...I remember you left. You left, and I just sat there, waiting for you to come back, but... but you never did," Louis continued. Tears sprung in Harry's eyes. He should have been there for him. "And then...I don't know! It all goes blank from that point on... What happened?" He asked.

Harry shook his head, small tears streaming down his cheeks. "Do you really want to know?" He asked.

Louis nodded, a bit hesitantly. "Y-Yeah...I think so. Yes," he spoke a bit more confidently.

Harry took a shaky breath. "O-Okay..." he started. "You tried to commit suicide," he said. Louis visibly paled, his eyes opening wide in shock. "I...I don't know what happened after I left...but when I returned, you were in the bathroom, blood pouring out of the bottom. I freaked out. You fucking scared the hell out of me! And I pounded on the door for what seemed like minutes... and when you opened the door..." Harry winced, not wanting to remember at all. "You passed out. Right in front of me, blood everywhere. You nearly gave me a heart attack. And then the paramedics came to get you and brought you to the ER right away. You've been in a coma ever since," he finished. Louis' hands shook slightly. He sat up, tears threatening to spill out.

"I... That really happened?" He asked, fearfully.

"Unfortunately, yes. " they turned their heads and saw the doctor and nurse standing in the doorway. "I wouldn't have explained it any better.

Louis' eyes widened. He was shocked. "But... no! There's... There no way! It can't be possible! I didn't- no!" He stuttered. His breaths were becoming much heavier, his heart monitor started going crazy.

"He's panicking. We need to do something to help his heart rate go down," the nurse explained, a bit frantic. "Sir! Sir, we need you to calm down! Sir!" She called to him.

"I can't- I, No! How- I- Uh-" he started to hyperventilate.

"How do we get him to stop?" She asked the doctor. "His heart rate is alarmingly high," she observed, seeing as the monitor was going into overdrive in front of their very eyes.

Just as the doctor was about to do something dramatic for sure, Harry stopped him. He grabbed the edge of Louis shirt and crashed his lips into Louis' quickly. Louis' eyes remained widened, but seconds into the kiss went by, and his eyes started to flutter closed, his chest rising and falling to normal speed once again. When they parted, they looked at each other lustfully. Until an awkward cough was heard from nurse next to them. They turned their heads and looked at the doctor and nurse. They blushed a dark red.

"Well..."the nurse started. "That's _one_ way to do it..."

"Indeed," the doctor said. He awkwardly coughed, adjusting his wire-rimmed glasses.  "I... We'll give you two some alone time. Uh... Brooke? Why don't you follow me?"

"Right away, Doc," she followed him into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. That left the two boys alone.

"Thanks for that," Louis sighed. Harry smiled softly. "Any time, Love."

They stayed together for the rest of the day, Harry only leaving to go to the bathroom, or get things from Louis from their flat, which, by the way, had been all cleaned out after the... incident. And when Harry would have to go home, they would still think about each other until they fell asleep, awaiting the next day to see one another. They just waited for the day Louis could be discharged, and then they could go home.


	15. Chapter 15

"Do you need help? Can I get you anything?"

Louis raised his eyebrows in amusement, grinning. "Harry, I was in the hospital for _depression_. It's not like I've broken both of my legs, " Louis joked. "I can get things for myself," he replied, placing his smartphone which he had been previously looking at on the maple wood coffee table. He picked his self from the couch and gingerly made his way over to the kitchen. Harry slowly followed from behind, his feet tapping along the hard-wood floor following his boyfriend's footsteps. He watched as Louis poured himself a small glass of water and drank, his Adam's apple bobbing with every swallow. He stared, lovingly. Even when doing the simplest of tasks, he still managed to make Harry's heart gleam with affectionate joy.

Louis continued to sip from his tiny glass until his eyes met Harry. He laughed, quickly lowering his glass before he could accidentally inhale any water. He wiped a few stray drops from the corner of his mouth and lips, still smiling. "Why are you looking at me?" He giggled.

"Because you're beautiful," Harry said, softly. Louis blushed. The smile gradually fading from his expression. He averted his gaze downward, trying to avoid eye contact. Pursing his lips together, he subtly shook his head back and forth, almost in disbelief.

Harry frowned in disappointment. "What? You don't believe me?" He asked, walking up to him. He quietly crept closer, taking small, soft steps, as if being too loud or walking too fast would scare the poor lad away. Louis kept his gaze upon the hardwood floor, only looking up when he felt the delicate touch of Harry's large, soft hand cupping his cheek. He redirected his blue orbs up to meet Harry's emerald green ones. His thin, pink lips parted slightly, almost wanting to say something, but keeping silent. They only gazed into each other's eyes.

"You _are_ beautiful, Louis," Harry started. Louis pressed his lips together. "And I know you may not believe me, and frankly, I really don't see why. You are _the_ most perfect human on earth I have ever met. Sure, you may have made a couple mistakes, " A single tear slipped down Louis' face, trailing along his cheekbone. He sniffed, softly. Harry wiped the tear from his cheek with a stoke of his thumb. "It's okay. I have, too. But you see, it's these mistakes that make us human. It's the little things," Harry whispered, pulling Louis into an embrace, swaying back and forth.

"That make us who we are. And I, personally, _love_ yours," he said, stroking Louis' feathery locks. Louis stayed silent. He didn't know what to say. But Harry sure did.

Harry raised their intwined hands to his lips. He kissed the back of Louis' grasp with his soft, pink lips. Louis blushed, still not saying a word. Harry continued to kiss, lightly sucking, making Louis quietly giggle. And in response, he continued to kiss every inch of the small boy's hand, slowly moving down to the wrist. He stopped when he felt the rough touch of a scar meet his lips. He pulled away, examining Louis' skinny wrist, the white lines and slashed littering every inch of skin visible. He frowned.

Louis had noticed that Harry had stopped kissing. It was too bad, because he was really starting to enjoy it. He saw Harry observe his scarred wrist in extreme detail. Louis sighed sadly, catching Harry's attention. "You know how much I hate it when you look at them like that," he muttered quietly. Harry frowned. "Like what?"

"It's, I..." Louis struggled to put his thoughts into words. "I can just tell." Harry quirked his eyebrow in confusion. "What can you tell?" Harry asked, leading the two to sit on the couch together.

Louis sighed. "I can tell.... I can tell you're disappointed. In me. Like you really, _really_ wish that they weren't there," he explained. "That they could just disappear. But it's really no use," he said, his lips pouting slightly. "They're never going to go away. These scars are forever. Even... Even though I wish they weren't," he sniffed, recalling the painful memories.

Harry stared in sympathy. "Oh, Louis. Even if I could wish them away..." he started. "Your scars. They're a part of you. A part of your story. Something that makes you stronger. A greater person in the long run," Harry squeezed Louis' smol hand in reassurance. "Sure, it looks pretty bad now. I don't blame you. But it's hard times like these that you learn from in the future. I love _you_ , Louis. And now these scars are a part of you. So therefore, I love them, too," Harry said, grasping Louis' hand in his. "Every single one. And I will kiss every last one if I have to, just to prove it," he stated.

Tears sprung in the outer corners of Louis' blue orbs. He let out a small sob. No one had ever said such words to him. And for the first time... it was overwhelming to say the least. "Oh, baby. Don't cry," Harry pulled his poor boyfriend into a tight embrace, hoping for his waterworks to cease. Louis sobbed gratefully into Harry's chest, dousing the cloth with his tears. More came. And they just kept coming. The only difference was that they weren't tears of depression. Not pain, sorrow, or loss. For once in the last 10 years, it was none of those things. It was something different. Something else... and that something else was _love_.

Love is a truly amazing thing. To be loved and to be in love, it's the greatest feeling in the world. Like a thunderstorm, you never know when it's gonna hit. Sometimes it can be scary. Sometimes it can be beautiful. But you never know its hit until it strikes like a bolt of lightning. But even so. He may get burned, but that could never stop him. All you have to do is wait for the storm to pass.

And that's what Louis did. His worst downpour was over, and now he was just waiting for the sun the peak out from the clouds.

Harry wanted to be his sunshine. No matter how dark his days would get, he knew how to shine a light on Louis ' heart. Make him feel special. His one and only. They were soulmates, and he wanted to be with Louis for the rest of his life. To make sure nothing bad could ever happen to him.

Now, I know how sappy that sounds. Like something out of a movie. A fairytale, am I right?

Well, it _was_ like something out of a fairytale. You know why?

Because it was those exact bittersweet words that Harry put into his seemingly magical address when he proposed to Louis.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!!! XO It's almost done!

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today  to celebrate the miraculous love of Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles. To bind them in eternal marriage."

Louis and Harry glanced at each other, beaming with joy as the officiant spoke a couple beginning words to the ceremony. Today was finally the day they had been waiting for. The wedding. The day they could make their love official. Bind their souls in holy matrimony. They couldn't wait.

The two stood in lavish black matching tuxedos, hands folded behind their backs, possibly over styled hair. Sure, they may have looked a bit out of character, not in their orthodox casual dress of choice, but hey, it was their wedding day. And they wanted to go all out. Wouldn't you?

"We will now exchange the vows. Harry?" He asked. Harry nodded. He took a shaky breath, preparing himself to state the vows he had written. Louis watched in anticipation.

"Louis, when I first met you, I thought- no. I _knew_ you were the most beautiful person I had ever set eyes on. From your gleaming light blue orbs to you thin, pink lips I love to kiss ever so dearly, I knew right then and there that I wanted you to be mine, and only mine. And now you are, how crazy is that?" He smiled. Louis giggled. "You are my best friend. You have been for the past years of my life, the greatest I have ever lived. Every time we were together, I felt a happiness that no one else could ever give me. Only you." He said. Taking a deep breath, he continued. "I made you a promise. I promised to never leave your side. And that still stands true today. Right now, right this second. I vow to always be with you. Through thick and thin, the darkest of times, whatever adventures await us in the future. Anything crazy that life plans to throw at us, I love you. And I always will," he finished. The audience _'awwed'_ at the cute couple. Louis sniffed, smiling.

"Damnit, Harry. How am I supposed to compete with that?" Louis joked, wiping a few tears from the corner of his eyes. "Well, here I go..." he sighed, shakily.

"Now, I don't know if you remember this, but I made you a promise, too. That same day, I vowed to never love anyone as much as I love you, Harry. And I can say with full confidence that I have stuck to my guns on that one," he smiled. Harry chuckled. "I love you, Harry. Before, I had been in a dark place. I was struggling, and you were the one that helped me recover. Ever since the day you helped me out of that dark hole, I've viewed you in such a way that you couldn't even imagine. You were my rock. My angel, my love. The only one that stood by me through this entire journey. Only you have shown me an eternal love and generosity I didn't even know I deserved. You've made me feel special. And I thank you for that. Never in a million years did I ever think that I'd be standing here, at this alter, with the handsome hunk of man I'll soon get to call my husband standing in a sexy tuxedo in front of me," Louis joked, gaining a couple of warm-hearted chuckles from the audience. Harry blushed. Louis smirked.

"I've dreamed about this for years. To be with you. To love you and have you love me back. To kiss you and hold you and have your- never mind. The point is, I love you, Harry. And now I get to be the lucky man who gets to call you mine." Harry used his thumb to softly remove a couple stray teardrops from his cheeks.

"Do you, Harry Styles, take Louis William Tomlinson be your wedded husband, to cherish in love and in friendship, in strength and in weakness, in success and in disappointment, to love him faithfully, today, tomorrow, and for as long as the two of you shall live?" The pastor asked.

"I do. I do with all my heart," Harry responded. Louis took in a breath, a giddy smile on his face.

"And do _you_ , Louis Tomlinson, take Harry Edward Styles to be your wedded husband, to cherish in love and in friendship, in strength and in weakness, in success and in disappointment, to love him faithfully, today, tomorrow, and for as long as the two of you shall live?"

"I do, " Louis responded, a few tears pooling in his blue eyes.

"May we please have the rings?" The ring bearer, Lottie brought them the rings on a dark red cushion. After handing them the wedding bands, she whispered, "Good choice, bro. I approve," to Louis, making him chuckle. They slipped the rings on each other's fourth fingers, their marriage nearly official. They beamed at each other, waiting for the pastor to finish the ceremony.

"Throughout this ceremony, Louis and Harry have vowed, in our blessed presence, to be loyal and loving towards each other. They have formalized the existence of the bond between them with words spoken and with the giving and receiving of rings. Therefore, it is my pleasure to now pronounce them husband and wi- husband," the two's faces lit up with joy. Louis' hand tapped his thigh in anticipation, not able to contain his excitement.

"Harry," the pastor looked to him. Harry smiled. "You may now kiss your-"

He didn't have time to finish. Harry had already grabbed Louis' face and crashed their lips together.

"...husband," he finished, awkwardly.

The crowd cheered in happiness. They pulled apart, light tears along their cheeks. They stared into each other's eyes. Laughing, they grabbed ahold of their hands and started walking back down the aisle.

"Would you like to go dance, Mr. _Tomlinson_?" Louis asked, a bright, buoyant smile upon his face.

"Why, I most certainly would, Mr. _Styles_ ," Harry replied. "You know, we still have to figure out the whole last name situation, Louis."

Louis shrugged. "Not now. We have plenty of time to figure that out. Our whole lives, in fact."

Harry smiled. "I can't believe it. We're married, Louis. We can finally be together. Forever."

Louis giggled excitedly. "Just promise me one thing, Harry." Harry looked at him confusedly. "Promise you what?"

"Promise you won't divorce my ass when I hog the blankets tonight," he joked.

Harry laughed. "I will never leave you. No matter what."

Louis smiled even wider. "Promise?"

"I promise."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit you guys, its over! The book is done! Oh my goodness!!!!


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